Today's whimsy

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Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 10:33 am

Walking along, I had a thought. Remember my "... is a cunt" test?

Example:
Using Google and quotation marks,

"Alex Ferguson is a cunt" - About 3,080 results
"David Cameron is a cunt" - About 3,180 results
"Nick Clegg is a cunt" - About 101 results (minority again, Nicky boy...)
"Simon Heffer is a cunt" - 3 results
"Simon Cowell is a cunt" - About 2,280 results
"Louis Walsh is a cunt" - About 1,010 results ("but it's so much harder in my category than Simon's")
"Gordon Brown is a cunt" - About 66,900 results Laughing including three video links Laughing Laughing (cf. Tony Blair, 32,200, one video Laughing )
"George Bush is a cunt" - About 6,720 results
"George W Bush is a cunt" - About 1,420 results (including the website bushisacunt.com)
"Osama Bin Laden is a cunt" - 4 results

So you see the disparity. On the one hand, the three most recent prime minsters rack up over 100,000 complete matches. The man who was the biggest threat to western society over the last decade has 8,000 allowing for the dropping of his middle name while his nemesis totals four and possibly the biggest cunt in the country scores three.

Of course, an obscure or non-British canvasser for cunt status is going to score lower (Ahmadinejad, 6 but only 1 if you add Mahmoud, Gaddafi, 3, add Muammar you get none, but Ashley Cole, 8,970) because it's our word and not theirs.

So what would the web embrace internationally to draw a fun comparison? Well, you know the answer. It's porn.

Therefore, feel free to add your Google quotes of results for "... porn". The lower the score the better, IMO, because that would be some weird shit that next to no-one does but some fucking lunatic from Tegucigalpa has thought "let's widen the audience" and failed, massively.

So to start

"Insect porn" - 14,500
"Santa porn" - 57,100 Shocked Almost as popular as Gordon Brown is unpopular
"Manatee porn" - a frankly impressive 10,200
"Axolotl porn" - 6. We're getting there...
"Somerset porn" - 623
"Parliamentary porn" - 974
"Ahmadinejad porn" - 8 - it seems there's better use for the term "cunt", then Laughing
"Galashiels porn" - 1 cheers

Feel free to add your own. A marvellous way to while away a minute or twenty

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  bitofatwat on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:12 am

"HORSERACING PORN"

1 result (0.31 seconds)
Search Results

1.
Congress Moves Forward On Putting Online Poker Players In Jail ...
3 May 2006 ... How can they target this and allow online lotto, horseracing, porn??? i know this is broken record and wonder what others think about the ...
www.techdirt.com/articles/20060503/2340231.shtml - Cached - Similar


In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 1 already displayed.
If you like, you can repeat the search with the omitted results included.
Preview image

cheers
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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:49 am

Outstanding.

It's at Haydock, incidentally, BOAT

"Haydock porn" - 1 match
On the other end of the scale, "pensioner porn" - 164,000 results. Shocked Shocked Shocked

Seems the web isn't just a young gun's game...

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:12 pm

turtle porn 282.000 affraid i like to think theres some double meanings that i dont know about going on here

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:13 pm

chip shop porn , 156.000 Neutral

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:36 pm

interesting thread.

the possibilities are endless. Smile

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  bitofatwat on Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:49 pm

missj wrote:chip shop porn , 156.000 Neutral

are you one of the numbers jonesy Laughing
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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:53 pm

bitofatwat wrote:
missj wrote:chip shop porn , 156.000 Neutral

are you one of the numbers jonesy Laughing
landed lol Smile and no its never gonna be 156, 001

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:16 pm

"Hamster porn"

About 615,000 results. The furry slutty bastards.

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:19 pm

missj wrote:chip shop porn , 156.000 Neutral

Not chip shop porn, Jonesy, but "Chip shop porn"

The quotes make it come out at seven. Seems there's less deep throat fryers than you think...

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:20 pm

missj wrote:turtle porn 282.000 affraid i like to think theres some double meanings that i dont know about going on here

Still comes out at 30,000+ Laughing

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:21 pm

"Monk porn"

41,200

So it's not all 9% beer, then...

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:25 pm

Laughing oh right ok sorry that makes more sense , ill give it another go Razz

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:26 pm

"knitted porn" 357 Smile

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:27 pm

"bert porn" 826 Razz Shocked

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:30 pm

"Egg porn" - about 30,800 results
"Chicken porn" - about 31,700 results

Clearly the "who came first" question even in this format needs further investigation when there's less than 3% in it...

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:34 pm

missj wrote:"bert porn" 826 Razz Shocked

Three of them are dedicated solely to me and you, Jonesy.

Spoiler:
All right, me and a drawing of a woman with "Jonesy" written in the top corner. One simply dedicated to sex video and two fetish sites.

The other 823 are Sesame Street spinoffs. With me in them. Elmo talks like that for a reason.

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:04 pm

you do make me laugh bert lol!

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:05 pm

not enough for boobs though Razz

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:10 pm

missj wrote:not enough for boobs though Razz

The day I lose interest and stop asking, Jonesy, is the day I die (Al Pacino)... or the day I get to see them. It's the thrill of the chase that gets the hunter going and not the actual kill.

Spoiler:
Mind you, I'd tell you that if we were both naked, chained together and smeared in Marmite at a party at Barrymore's. Laughing

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:14 pm

"Marmite porn" - about 125 results.

Including one

"Originally Posted by Niall
Dear Kathryn.

Googling marmite porn results in pictures of marmite and porn, with no happy combination of the two.

I wish you were in England because when I am with you I actually feel English whereas usually I do not and it's weird. Not the good kind of weird, but at least it's interesting.

I'm going to take my clothes off now and get into bed,

Niall"


Kathryn's response? "Why would you google marmite porn?????"

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:17 pm

"Hitler porn" - 30,000
"Chaplin porn" - 59,400

Proof positive that the hat makes you twice as porny...

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:23 pm

"Shortbread porn" - 4 results including one which I am advised by Google "may harm my computer".

Fuck me, if I were into shortbread porn I'd imagine "harming my computer" would not be rare to me. It would be crawling like a PP bumpuncher around a fellow cunt.

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:26 pm

well i wouldnt want to end the enjoyment of the chase

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Re: Today's whimsy

Post  Guest on Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:53 pm

missj wrote:well i wouldnt want to end the enjoyment of the chase

I don't think you would. After "boobs" I'd probably go "tasteful nude" Razz

Anyway, today, I decidd it would be fun if the two word search should be "... fun".

In that we might find happy people, disturbing pensioners and

"Oslo fun" - about 2,210 results (Oslo porn, 1,620)

capital cities that appear to be a bit sad and downcast overall, even if the people are lovely.

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Re: Today's whimsy

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