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November

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Post  NotBert Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:16 am

May go into detail when more awake but I believe the 21st century's take on the biblical plagues are this Novmber's contribution.

Fucking twats.
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Post  Guest Wed Nov 23, 2016 4:59 pm

I had a scan on my aorta yesterday to see if the op had been a success.......For once in my life I got good news. My blood is running very well behind the graft he put in me.....Still feel like fucking shit though. As for it getting dark at 3.30pm, it's making me suicidal.
I have to have one more test on my left kidney (a CT scan) and if all is well I can come off the two powerful antibiotics I've been on for nearly 5 months (side effects are dreadful nausea and warped taste buds) but more importantly, fuck off to Spain for a couple of months......The wife and me have had no holiday in two and a half years thanks to this lead cloak I call my body.

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Post  NotBert Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:24 am

It's better news, though, Tone. Start the fight back in earnest and that you can consider going back to Spain is big.

Plague has subsided but not abated - the fucking arm segs I had wept a large Bailey's worth of pus on two nights with a rest night in between and it seems to have done no end of good, and I have had a week of dunny dashes (the fucking Aussie jungle cunts) that make me want to carry a bottle of Dettol with me. Only some swift arse-crobatics have saved me from brown haemorrhaging and one Friday I had two journeys to make and both were ended by "panic shits".

*Sigh*
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Post  NotBert Mon Jun 05, 2017 2:48 am

Fatigue has crept up on me this last week. Will have to see how I go, I have a good base otherwise.
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Post  Guest Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:27 am

Nausea has crept up on me.....Potassium 6.3% so they have put me on a drug called Calcium Res something or other. I feel like I'm going to puke all the time.
Kidney function down to 32%...weak as a kitten.
Feet and legs numb....having nerve conductivity tests at the Neurology department on the 13th.
Life's a bowl of cherries.......served with a side dish of shit.
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Post  NotBert Tue Jun 06, 2017 12:59 am

Fucking hell, Tone, I'm out of sorts but largely OK (for me). That's awful as you stand and the kidney shit sounds sinister. Are you eating and so forth where possible, the worst thing in the world when you're ill and off everything is that you have to put the effort in to eat and so forth as you get worse otherwise. Easy to say to the sick bloke but impossible in the execution
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Post  Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 3:24 am

I eat wonderful food Bert, my appetite is good......My diet revolves around Chicken, Fish, lean meat,  Fruit, Salad and Vegetables. I eat no sugar, sweets or processed foods.
I drink lots of water, don't smoke and drink 3 or 4 pints of ale a week.
I shouldn't be this unwell.

It all went tits up this time last year when I went to have a stent fitted inside the original aortic stent as it had narrowed and I couldn't walk 20 yards....They fucked up and introduced bacteria into my system while doing it which resulted in sepsis and kidney failure.
I had three lots of dialysis followed by 9 hours on the operating table in July during which time they cut me longways down my torso (19 inch scar) and removed the poisoned stent then performed grafts. The material used is grown on the back of cattle.
I was in intensive care for 10 days and just about pulled through. I was in hospital 2 months and lost 2 stone in weight.
They then put me on a horror antibiotic called metronidazole which has given me peripheral neuropathy.
My feet are numb. My hands are going numb.
It's hell.
Oh, I nearly forgot.....the two stone I lost has come back.

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Post  NotBert Sat Jun 10, 2017 4:11 pm

Jesus, Tone, you read that and it reads "hell, more hell, a bit of hell to go further and after all that, give him some Flagyl". The added "bonus" of Flagyl is of course that you're not allowed to drink a drop. Fucking aces.

On the very limited upside, you obvious have a physical resilience (which obviously comes from with your diet and so forth) that is apart from your actual susceptibility to be ill. My old man was the same, diabetes and strokes after quad bypass in his early fifties (52) but he was in actual bodily physical terms in fair shape. Made his eightieth year.

Some people tip over at the slightest, some at the other end of the scale simply refuse to keel over. It's an amazing persistence of spirit.
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Post  missyj Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:09 am

I saw Stephen fry say the first person to live to 1000 has already been born. I'm not sure we have a 1000 years left the way we are carrying on. Who would want that?
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Post  Guest Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:12 pm

I would love to live forever.
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Post  NotBert Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:36 am

missyj wrote:I saw Stephen fry say the first person to live to 1000 has already been born. I'm not sure we have a 1000 years left the way we are carrying on. Who would want that?  

Can't be right. No-one has got past 122 yet, that was twenty years ago and even then she was all but blind and deaf. Expectancy might be going up 3 months a year but there's clearly a fairly finite ceiling - the body atrophies, it ages and it would be a massive stretch to double the maximum let alone multiply it by eight.
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Post  NotBert Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:23 pm

Two clinics this week but since the write-off (fucking cunts in German cars) I've actually lost weight and improved generally. Usual routine clinic on Friday but today was an eye clinic because of changes spotted on retinopathy in July.

Can't be that bad if waiting from July to November but you still worry, obviously. Turns out the problem was merely the venal occlusion I already have that isn't diabetes-related but is visible on a scan. Also a "cotton-wool" spot that is now being watched but not a concern. However, the big thing from today was the original doctor who saw me. In simple terms, she was a stone cold fox with (possibly deliberately) amazing eyes. Apparently Portuguese, slim without being thin with a face I just wanted to paint, she was like a work of art, and not a Damien Hirst. As she's shining the light in my eyes of course, she's directing me - "look at my ear" - not a trial at all - "up... right... left..." and of course when it come to "down", I'm thinking "don't look at her breasts, you're better than that..."

Turns out I'm not. Not gay either, so fuck off.

Ironic that she works in ophthalmology because she is a genuine sight for sore eyes. Made an old man very happy. Consultant is Brazilian as well (lovely woman, wonderful manner, we all had a bit of a laugh, turns out the goddess's face lights up when she laughs as well, natch), so unusually for me, I was not only the least sexually attractive person in the room (that isn't unusual) but I was the worst Portuguese-speaker. Doesn't happen often, that, on the banks of the Mersey.
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Post  Guest Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:38 am

You'll be all right mate......like me, you're as tough as old boots.
You get it from your dad.

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Post  NotBert Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:51 pm

Friday came and well, felt pretty good but have been referred back in three months because this fucking leg is doing my head in.

Will be sent for X-ray and if nothing shows, a rheumatologist. It has, if nothing else, turned me into a patience-free zone. Somewhere along the line I am going to end up in a fistfight with some horn-shoving cunt or some gobshite who is blocking the aisle and moving slower than a tug
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Post  Guest Mon Dec 04, 2017 6:17 pm

NotBert wrote: Somewhere along the line I am going to end up in a fistfight with some horn-shoving cunt or some gobshite who is blocking the aisle and moving slower than a tug

affraid behindthesofa affraid

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Post  NotBert Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:59 pm

Hasn't happened yet, Tone, but I think it's only been out of fortune. The customer service episode with Sky was enough to kill over. Phone send you to text, text asks for internet and net tries to send you back to phone. I was in a 114-text conversation where I called them no end of cunts and when the feedback text came "how did we do?" I scored, on a scale of one to five, a zero. It replied "got to be one to five". Replied again "zero". They stopped at that point, which I fancy is a degree of wisdom they hadn't shown up until that point
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Post  Guest Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:57 pm

NotBert wrote:Hasn't happened yet, Tone, but I think it's only been out of fortune.  The customer service episode with Sky was enough to kill over.  Phone send you to text, text asks for internet and net tries to send you back to phone.  I was in a 114-text conversation where I called them no end of cunts and when the feedback text came "how did we do?" I scored, on a scale of one to five, a zero.  It replied "got to be one to five".  Replied again "zero".  They stopped at that point, which I fancy is a degree of wisdom they hadn't shown up until that point

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Post  NotBert Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:07 am

Primary symptoms. They can fuck off.
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Post  Guest Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:55 pm

NotBert wrote:Primary symptoms.  They can fuck off.

Mad

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Post  NotBert Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:56 pm

Having what I can only describe as "a twat of a time"
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Post  Guest Thu Apr 12, 2018 8:38 pm

NotBert wrote:Having what I can only describe as "a twat of a time"

Me too mate......I have developed a huge, huge stomach. I look like a pregnant woman. About 8 months gone.
They say it happened when i had my operation 20 months ago...It's an incisional hernia. Just growing bigger all the time.
Doctor says an op will kill me and adds  I have to buy a good corset.
I asked if I should get stockings and suspenders to go with it and being a Paki he didn't get the joke. Looked at me as if I was mad.
I also have to see a rheumatologist as my feet are completely numb now with electric shocks shooting through them and up my legs 24/7.....When I walk it feels like I'm walking on lego pieces with barbed wire inside my socks. 20 yards max.
Life's a fucking bowl of toenail clippings.
4 years ago I had the body of the 64 year old man I was and it was ok.....I now have the body of an 88 year old.
And the life.
Crying or Very sad

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Post  missyj Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:24 pm

NotBert wrote:
missyj wrote:I saw Stephen fry say the first person to live to 1000 has already been born. I'm not sure we have a 1000 years left the way we are carrying on. Who would want that?  

Can't be right.  No-one has got past 122 yet, that was twenty years ago and even then she was all but blind and deaf.  Expectancy might be going up 3 months a year but there's clearly a fairly finite ceiling - the body atrophies, it ages and it would be a massive stretch to double the maximum let alone multiply it by eight.
maybe its half machine, nanobots etc, yes I watch a lot of Sci fi, I believe it though
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Post  NotBert Sat Apr 21, 2018 11:11 pm

Fuck me, Tone, I'm going to stop updating as you seem to get some more shit as I do.

Haven't really eaten here in a fortnight or so, only scraps. Don't have the juice to go into it more now
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Post  Guest Sat Apr 21, 2018 11:51 pm

NotBert wrote:Fuck me, Tone, I'm going to stop updating as you seem to get some more shit as I do.

Haven't really eaten here in a fortnight or so, only scraps.  Don't have the juice to go into it more now

pale

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Post  Admin Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:03 pm

Nobby Cheese wrote:I would love to live forever.
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lol!
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