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50 great footballing moments (Part 1)

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 10:36 pm

DISGRACE AT WEMBLEY

Sendings-off at Wembley Stadium have been few and far between - most of them involving Scum players like Ray Wilkins, Paul Ince, Paul Scholes, Andrei Kanchelskis and a few others I could mention - but in 1974 there were two dismissals which shocked the watching nation.
August and the traditional curtain-raiser for the coming season - a Charity Shield encounter between League Champions Leeds United and FA Cup winners Liverpool.

Leeds, under the guidance of Don Revie, were the Manchester United of their day - cunts who won everything and played the dirtiest kind of football you could imagine. Liverpool were the well-oiled Shankly Machine. Well, they were until Shankly packed in a few weeks before to spend more time on his allotment in Bootle. But on the pitch that day were some of the nation's finest talents: Allan Clarke, Peter Lorimer, Mick Jones, John Toshack, Ian Callaghan, Steve Heighway and Emlyn Hughes. The stage was set for a classic encounter between the country's top two clubs, yet nothing could have prepared the fans for what was to happen on that sunny August afternoon.

Midway through the second half, with the score deadlocked at 0-0, Liverpool's England superstar Kevin Keegan and Leeds skipper Billy Bremner began trading punches in the centre circle. Instead of watching the game, cameras turned their attention to the scrap as it gathered momentum. Bremner threw a left hook which missed Keegan, who then threw a right cross and twatted the ginger little bastard a good 'un. Then Keegan stamped on his head and punched him some more, the pair of them rolling around on the hallowed Wembley turf. Other players then came into the fray - most notably Norman Hunter with a broken bottle and Tommy Smith with a crowbar that he used to keep down his sock. Terry Yorath pulled a knife on Larry Lloyd, while Ray Clemence, racing out of his goal, hit Paul Madeley with a sock full of billiard balls.

Both Keegan and Bremner were sent from the field by referee Dermott McDermott of Angelsey, and both tore off their shirts in disgust. Keegan was seen to stamp his feet on the touchline and scream: "Right, I'm not playing, then!" at the top of his voice. Bremner, equally frustrated and angry at being a ginger twat who had besmirched the day with his loutish behaviour, tried to say it was his ball and he was going home. In the aftermath both players were fined heavily and banned from playing football for eleven matches, which gave Bremner loads of time to ponder his future as a dirty little get and Keegan the opportunity to go and crash bikes on TV's 'Superstars'.

Truly a great footballing moment.

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:19 pm

A fantastic start, Tony, worthy of lol! lol! lol! lol! only slightly marred by the fact that Revie's Leeds, dirty fucking scumcunts as they were, had a habit of finishing second in everything more often than actually winning it. The evidence is easily confirmed by walking down the Headrow on occasion and trying not to glare at the graffiti that the council refuses to paint over as it agrees with the sentiment.

"FUCKING PORTERFIELD"

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:25 pm

Wish it was my work Bert....It's an old mate of mine who used to post these gems on a forum I used to be on.
Read the greatest goal one!
Very Happy

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:31 pm

Other players then came into the fray - most notably Norman Hunter with a broken bottle and Tommy Smith with a crowbar that he used to keep down his sock. Terry Yorath pulled a knife on Larry Lloyd, while Ray Clemence, racing out of his goal, hit Paul Madeley with a sock full of billiard balls.

50 great footballing moments (Part 1) 189864 50 great footballing moments (Part 1) 189864 50 great footballing moments (Part 1) 189864

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Post  bitofatwat Thu May 13, 2010 11:43 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:46 pm

Nobby Cheese wrote:Wish it was my work Bert....It's an old mate of mine who used to post these gems on a forum I used to be on.
Read the greatest goal one!
Very Happy

I have just freehanded my own version... Razz

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 9:25 pm

1


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 9:29 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 12:14 am

Steve Staunton's hat-trick against Wigan Athletic

Nothing to really add. Just read that first line - the words are there but it makes no sense. For further references, please see:
  • Jim Beglin's Nobel Prize for Physics and
  • Alan, Lord Kennedy of Wylam

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Post  Guest Sun May 16, 2010 1:24 am

2


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Sun May 16, 2010 1:39 am

Superbly funny Bert....I don't know where you pull it up from man!

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sun May 16, 2010 1:40 am

Unlike Olsen. Already a cunt through his association with Manchester United and his rabbit teeth

lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sun May 16, 2010 1:41 am

From 1-0 up and ordering the Spaniards about like a Home Counties pensioner in a bar on Tenerife, he'd given the Spaniards a lifeline and they fucking strangled them with it.

lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sun May 16, 2010 2:02 am

I was on Denmark that year, Tony, and it's the only occasion that is ballpark with Waddle's penalty oh no oh no in Turin.

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Post  Guest Tue May 25, 2010 11:04 pm

3


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Thu May 27, 2010 6:28 pm

when ray clemence ( liverpool goalie) left liverpool.
i can't remember were he went,
stayed in the english top-flight.
anyway,

on his return to anfield,
playing for the opposition,
he walked down to his goal,
in readiness for the game,
he raised both his arms,
like so cheers
to the fans in the kop,
and got a standing ovation,
talk about old friends,
i shall never forget that.

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Post  Guest Thu May 27, 2010 7:08 pm

Went to Spurs, Eric, and came back to the Kop singing "England's Number One"

I don't think David James gets the same...

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Post  Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:19 am

4


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Post  Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:20 am

The ruse was successful for nine games until the Orient fans realised that he couldn't move and was made of teak

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sat Feb 12, 2011 3:07 pm

Because of the success and revival of the fortunes of Manny Sanon elsewhere on these boards, a Central American series will be starting in this area soon...

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Post  Guest Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:15 am

5


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Post  Guest Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:24 am

Unfortunately, further to this, the station who get the TV rights use a hairy dickhead (Ricardo Llaves) and a balding imbecile (Andres Gris) to do the commentary and they blot their copybooks by first being overheard saying that "had it been a bloke who shot himself, he'd have made a cleaner exit wound" and "mind you, even dead I'd smash its back doors in"

Four groups of three and the USA top theirs in front of Baffin Island and Greenland Wanderers. Haiti get past an uninhabited island off the coast of Venezuela and a country recently drowned in volcanic ash. The other two groups are topped by, yes, Honduras, seeing off two countries that are hosts to marijuana plantations and what's left of the Third Reich

The war started in earnest about three weeks later with an air raid from El Salvador who, despite having no bombers or bombs, raided every DFS in the country and dropped furniture from Boeing 747s on Honduras for four days solid with nothing to pay for a year


Pure fucking genius Bert

50 great footballing moments (Part 1) 380407

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:19 am

6


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Post  Guest Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:26 pm

7


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Post  Guest Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:48 pm

They even had a striker named Ludo Coeck, whose name translated out of the original Flemish becomes "Load of cock".


The game kicked off. After a massive struggle of titanic proportions, El Salvador finally succumbed in the fourth minute





lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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