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The greatest goal ever scored (very funny)

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 10:44 pm

What is the best goal ever scored? Brazil's 4th in the 1970 World Cup Final? Zidane's scorcher for Madrid in the Champion's League Final last year? Or perhaps the Alan Mullery volley that bounced off his shin and somehow went into the net and not the crowd. Maybe the Frank Worthington keep-up, turn, dummy, and chip for Bolton fucking ages ago. Well, the answer is none of the above. For the greatest goal ever scored was scored by the greatest player ever. Probably.

In his glittering career George Best had scored many wondrous and amazing goals, using to full effect his mesmerising range of skills, ball control and alcoholic intemperance. In his day he took on the world's greatest players and Europe's top club sides - Real Madrid, Benfica, Juventus, Inter Milan, Ajax, Benfica again and Northampton Town. He regularly scored twenty-plus goals a season and was voted European Footballer of the Year. But ask George which of those hundreds of goals was the best...the mazy run and shot off the post, leaving seven players from the top division in his wake? Was it the legendary goal he scored against Benfica during a famous 5-1 victory over the Portuguese champions, when he left three defenders stranded, rounded the goalkeeper and stopped on the goal line for a fag before stroking the ball home? Or the time he beat the whole Arsenal back four - and Bob Wilson - then ran up the field and did it all again before finally putting the ball into the net? No. The best goal what George Best ever scored came many years after he had reached his peak.

Long retired from the game (and probably because there were no more women left over here to shag), Best had decided to ply his trade in the newly-formed and rapidly emerging National Soccer League World Championship Of Soccer Not Football. He was signed by New Orleans Dodgers, who sold him to San Antonio Pleasers. They couldn't afford to keep him in whisky, and let him go to New York Cosmos, the USA's top club. It was there that George set about earning a fortune while he got to drink loads of beer, a proper tan and could shag Miss Worlds all day long. Nice work if you can get it, and got it George most certainly did.

In a League match against bitter rivals Miami Hedgehogs, featuring many former League players who had also gone to the States because they were old and their careers fucked, Best found himself in his own half with the ball at his feet. Setting off for goal, he took on one man, then another, and another and another until he had beaten eight players and was inside the box. He shimmied left, then right, dummying 45-year-old former Welsh international Trevor Hockey, nutmegging an ex-Peterborough full-back and bamboozling 39-year-old Bob Fanshaw (former Northwich Victoria and Crewe), before neatly tucking the ball beyond the reach of one-eyed Gordon Banks in goal. A truly amazing goal and one that, when viewed in slow motion, seems even more astonishing. Defenders seemed somehow not to want to tackle the former Manchester United drunken has-been, perhaps because he was George Best or perhaps because they had been paid not to. Who can say?

When asked about the goal later, and when the quality of his opponents that day was questioned, Best replied: "They were seasoned professionals who had played at the very highest level of the game. Alright, so one of them was in a wheelchair. What about it? They're fast, them wheelchairs. Anyway fuck off."

The best goal ever scored or a fluke, a staged fake put on by those razzmatazz Yanks to somehow flog their shitty game to their mindless fans? Who gives a toss? It was a great goal, and George Best scored it. So, like the man said, fuck off.


lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:43 pm

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Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:47 pm

Bert...I have just spat tea all over my fucking keyboard!!!


The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:48 pm

Fat Ron's blood pressure if you add systolic and diastiolic together comes to 370 and he has the pulse rate of a humming bird on a bad reaction to ecstasy

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:51 pm

...


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Thu May 13, 2010 11:53 pm

Brian Moore selects the word "midriff". Motty goes for "aha, bellend". No-one picks the ball out of the net because after the Old Trafford fiasco earlier in the season, the ball now has Paul Walsh's cockprint on it. 2-2.

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 12:31 am

2


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 12:43 am

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:46 am

Showed this to a friend of mine who works at the BBC and he just emailed me and he said it was pure genius Bert.
You are wasted mate.
I'm still in pain from laughing.

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 7:36 pm

Nobby Cheese wrote:Showed this to a friend of mine who works at the BBC and he just emailed me and he said it was pure genius Bert.
You are wasted mate.
I'm still in pain from laughing.

I fucking well hope it was Lineker...

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 10:46 pm

3


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:16 pm

The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:26 pm

4


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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:34 pm

and if it wasn't going right, they could always threaten you with Graham Rix who was on the bench and looking at your daughter

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:37 pm

I feel like I should do a gallery page for the named, Tony... Razz

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Post  Guest Fri May 14, 2010 11:59 pm

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Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 12:55 am

Fell asleep in the armchair, woke up, read this and the wife has just shouted out 'what the fuck are you laughing at now'?

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 1:59 pm

Tempted to put out a feeler for requests. Example - World Cup candidates are:

  • Goals in the Scotland World Cup campaign of 1978
  • Paul Mariner v Czechoslovakia, Espana '82
  • Nelinho, 3rd/4th place match 1978 WC
  • Arie Haan in the same WC
  • Emmanuel Sanon of Haiti, WC '74 (the above three would be collectively known as "The Zoff trilogy")
  • That fucking free kick in Turin '90
  • IT'S KHAIRI AGAIN!


Last edited by Bert on Sun May 16, 2010 2:04 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 2:07 pm

Goals in the Scotland World Cup campaign of 1978 please!
Very Happy

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 2:12 pm

Then it shall be so, Tony. Likely input will be from Teofilio Cubillas, Archie Gemmill, Danaifar and the own goal at the other end...

Keep watching the skies...

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 2:15 pm

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 2:21 pm

It's a night thing, Tony - I'm not John Osborne sitting in a deckchair at Lytham St Annes, you know...

But I'm going to have some fucking fun with Willie Johnston...

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 10:22 pm

6


Last edited by Bert on Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 10:38 pm

and on one memorable occasion, a right cross that broke the jaw of Chewbacca who was playing up front for Bucharest Secret Police.



Cubillas had a free kick at the edge of the box. He twatted it round the wall and at that point Alan Rough had an epiphany and decided to retire and open a pub called the Palm Inn




lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864
The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864 The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) 189864
lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Sat May 15, 2010 11:09 pm

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