i got a reply from M.I.N.D.

from a bod calling herself rachel.
probably some moonlighting tranny bricklayer.

seriously though,
it was text-book stuff.
i don't mean to seem cynical,
although i suppose that i am,
but,
well....

oh i don't know.
feeling quite embarrassed by it all.
wishing i hadn't e-mailed them now.
no harm done though eh?

i just wish that there was some other way.
but there isn't is there.

happy daze.

erixter wrote:probably some moonlighting tranny bricklayer.

they old ones are the best eh?

don't know why,
but,
i just imagined this strapping tattooed,hairy-chested beefcake,
with bulging biceps,
wearing a ragged string vest,
knotted hanky on head,
pink frilly nicks,
tu-tu,
and stilletos.

how the mind wanders.

Bert's wanking over that right now.

Nobby Cheese wrote:Bert's wanking over that right now.

I am that right now.





















And yes, I'm wanking over it

i'm thinking that i really shouldn't have contacted them.
i mean,
they're funded by donations aren't they?
and here i am wasting their time.
there's no way that i can be helped,
because i don't WANT to be helped.

after 40 odd years,
feeling how i do,
even the slightest improvement in self-respect,esteem etc.
i don't think i could handle that.
and as for family,
and the few people who DO know me.......

no way.

Donations are there so they can carry on helping, Eric.

There's a clear case that your call actually promotes donations, not draws from them.

NotBert wrote:Donations are there so they can carry on helping, Eric.

There's a clear case that your call actually promotes donations, not draws from them.

how?

If no-one uses them, no-one supports them. Funds for charities are raised by awareness so general enquiries are a word of mouth route that shows they are having an impact.

The worst thing that can happen to a charity is that people pass it by.

okay.

it really is all about dealing with "the self" isn't it:

people talk about things being "relative" to...............

i am, "by comparison"...........

so,
with regards one's self,
maybe it really IS "all in the mind".

stating the obvious,
you might think.
"seemples".
well actually,
no,
it isn't.

it's never easy to reconcile what we want,
or rather what I want,
with what i see,
and what i may or may not,
percieve to be.

i'm digging myself into a fucking big hole here aren't i.

we can't helping wanting,
or rather "desiring".
one's own very personal needs.

it's a bit like knowledge;
the more you know,
the more aware you become,
of how much you DON'T know.
and that one really IS a double edged sword.
it will motivate some,
give others a focus,
a goal,
something to strive for.

whilst leaving twats like me,
feeling woefully inadequate,
and a suicidal failure.

are you still there juicer?
jesus!
really?

i'm merely endeavouring,

to understand.

"the self".

how's your,

"self"?

i finally got around to responding,
to m.i.n.d.'s response.

short and sweet.

the same thing that i'd like to lie at that memorial in eastbourne.

"if only there was some other way".

response not necessary,