FA Cup 4th round draw

Without a doubt, the most uninspiring set of fixtures thrown up in history.

I can better it...

http://www.worldssmallestleague.co.uk/index.html

and spectacularly

http://www.worldssmallestleague.co.uk/html/about_us.html

American-owned shower of self-righteous success-starved twats whose ground is in a war zone
v
Gay-friendly southern conference centre who may or may not actually play in their own fucking town beside the seaside, beside the sea

Cash-starved socially-aware club who nevertheless were more interested in the first tie, ground in same war zone
v
Irish Sea clip joint OR Industry-stripped government-fucked club founded way back who now wish their suffix wasn't so shit

Money-laundering BNP factory
v
Nondescript mid-quality big city club who are as dull as the uninventive name they have

Nondescript recent league club based in a new town of non-natives and so has no fans
v
Windblown Midlands city that is home to a second club so dull it's named after a place that doesn't exist

Another fucking new town where commuters move to live but in fact are merely initiating a long, slow death
v
Perennial capital underachievers who now fancy their chances under the management of the UK's version of Asil Nadir

Potato-farming sprout-eating inbreds whose kit looks like a caesar salad
v
Single-industry Midlands hellhole whose kit makes you hanker for a bag of cheese and onion

Rabid North Easterners with nothing to look forward to OR Rabid North Easterners with nothing to look forward to
v
Whiny trophiless capital club who flatter to deceive but fold under pressure like a cheap suit OR Really Shit Midlanders in nice kit

Absolute fucking lunatic Cockernees no-one wants to visit OR ale-house team from a city that serves sailors, mmm nice
v
Bolton Wanderers

Potato-farming sprout-eating inbreds whose kit looks like a caesar salad
v
Single-industry Midlands hellhole whose kit makes you hanker for a bag of cheese and onion

I've been a bit quiet, Tone, I thought I should do something me-like

Bert