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Post  bitofatwat Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:25 pm

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Post  Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:47 pm

"DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS"

Check out these Amazon reviews Tone 189864 

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Post  Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:48 pm

"After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian"

lol! 

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Post  Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:50 pm

"At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg"

affraid 

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Post  Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:13 pm

"Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ".

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Post  Admin Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:05 pm

Fucking brilliant they are lol! lol! lol! lol! 
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