Great lines from great movies

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer - the benefits of a classical education"


Reminded me of the great darts commentator Sid Waddell when he said:

"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27."

Talking of the late great Sid Waddell...here are some of his claassic one liners that he used to burst out with spontaneously during darts commentary.
Read them in a Geordie accent for best effect.
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"There's only one word for that: magic darts!"

"William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea."

"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"

"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in ,with a portion of chips……. you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them."

"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"

“That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!”

"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions."

"It's like Dracula getting out of his grave and asking for a few chips with his steak."

"This game of darts is twisting like a rattlesnake with a hernia!"

"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"

"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."

"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."

"Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!"

"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow."

"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."

"Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true Roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax."

"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!"

“Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis”

"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."

"Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter."

"Bristow reasons... Bristow quickens... Aaah, Bristow."

PURE FUCKING GENIUS

Saw Grosse Pointe Blank again the other week and didn't realise how much that film has sneaked into my lexicon.

"Dumb fucking luck!" for one. But some of the dialogue (John Cusack is fucking awesome) is tremendous for its delivery and how dark and dry its content is as a hireable assassin.

[Talking to his psychiatrist about going to his high school reunion]

Marty: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

And later on

[practicing in a mirror before his high school reunion]

Marty: Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I - and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Martin Blank, you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, but I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.

But this one is one of my all time favourites. Translates metaphorically to the internet pretty well, you see...

[repeated line]

Marty: If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.

Rickman. Best film villain ever

And bearing in mind the events depicted above, this is so casual/mundane as to be almost hilarious in context, and then the step back into business once the doors open.

Lugosi. Magic