moments of quiet contemplation,chemical imbalance or madness.

BEST LEAVE THIS THREAD NOW IMO.

JUST ANOTHER LOAD O' BOLLUX.

SORRY.

i suddenly found myself thinking of that "celebrity in jungle" gig.
don't know why.
and imagined what would happen if somebody said to them,
"this is it you lot.no returning to your previous lives.this IS your life,until you die.you will be given all available information on what is food,where it can be caught,cooked,dug up,or whatever,and that's it.goodbye."
no doubt some one accept is as their lot and set about creating a routine for survival.
and some would just wither,and die.
i would be of the latter.

some are just not cut out for jungle-life.
and i liken that to my life,here and now.
i feel as though i am withering,and dying inside.

gather-hunter,going and getting,grabbing your share,protecting and fighting for ones rights and entitlements,the need for greed,i don't/can't do that,it just isn't in me.
i don't belong.

so where do i belong?

good question.

i belong in one of those sci-fi films where social programming exists.
2.3 children.
ample food and living areas.
10 units of alcohol per week,strictly controlled of course.
no need for stealing,robbing,abusing,fighting etc.
no NEED,for anything.
just a safe every day routine of co-existence.

working 9.00. to 5.00. or whatever,
returning home to your safe little home,
day in ,day out,
week in week out.
no fights to be fought.
no wars to be won.
your whole life just set out before you.

there is just so much wrong with the human kind,
but then,maybe all that's wrong,is with me,deep within my own psyche.
but what can I do?
and then,maybe everybody is just as miserable as me,
only they don't show it.

i go on about suicide sometimes.

i don't really want to die.

i don't want this life either.

it's one helluva situation,
what does a person do?
how do you deal with that?
drugs and brain-washing?
get put back on track,who's track?
and whose has the right to judge?

there is no answer.

so,
life goes on.

Pretty deep thoughts ....