Gold

Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.


Outstanding

I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

I may never need another website for viewing...

BOAT's phone, it seems...

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

Stephanie, I'd guess

The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.

...and Stephanie again, BOAT?

To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

Bert wrote:BOAT's phone, it seems...

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

Paul will go spare if he realises his flatmate has been blabbing

They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

I'd imagine this to be Abdul if you put "have darts" on the end...

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

Words fail me.

We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together

Nige was told this once.

A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.

Ferkin hell...


Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!

Jesus, this sounds like me...

The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn

Lyric from Dylan's Hurricane

One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.

Latest:


Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.

One of these four currently scores "bad night". Not hard to guess which

Almost Shakespearean

I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

I love this site. These could be the same person...

She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. and

No I am not eating basil off your cock

I know what I'm going to get for Christmas...

I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.