C...Punters Place Relief Appeal

Many of you will now be aware of the humanitarian disaster that has occurred at C Punters Place.

After many months of internal civil strife, where repeated excesses including rape, child abuse, drug abuse and dwarf pissers sucking pig cocks took place, the situation took a turn for the worse yesterday when Ian Brady was appointed headmaster. Blackberries all over the network were silenced as martial law was instigated under the new leader who will only accept being called by his operation name, SnowPlough.

SnowPlough has redistributed ministries to several figureheads who, although holding no real power, report back to SnowPlough in the hope of being allowed to "greet his Wand of Might".

The four puppets - codenamed HandWash, SwingPisser, BlackDog and ProfessorTwat - have all but forced the entire forum into refugee status. The quote "The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our time" has been heard - at least, the first couple of words was but then it was muffled by a green pie retrieved from the bins at Morrison's. Consequently, there is a twofold problem - the first is that forum refugees are now seeking succour in other sites. They are, however, struggling to integrate - not unlike the Canine Rescue Centre, they know little other than abuse and as such seek to abuse by return.

Yeah, well, fuck them. They aren't dogs, they're people and they should grow a pair. Fuck me, how hard is it to be civil?

The second, however, is the source of this appeal. SnowPlough and the Puppets [what a great name that would be for a novelty Christmas single band] are now suddenly bereft of victims. They have no children to molest, no families to treat as human shields, no women to wank over from the safety of mummy's box room. Left untouched, they'll buy some Carex and force themselves on no end of poor women and children in the real world and try to befriend them just so that they can try and torture them later by asking inappropriate questions about their seven-year-old male relatives.

This can be avoided, however. By donating just twenty minutes, you can log into C Punters Place in a front account, post any bollocks once, fuck off away from the screen and cook some dinner, maybe, and after twenty minutes, without reading, reply with a . At that point you can log out. In those twenty minutes, BlackDog will have masked his IP four times, ProfessorTwat will have chuckled to himself like a boggle-eyed Santa and posted nothing I can even remember, the empty-headed cunt, HandWash will have wanked himself stupid, Bedlam-style and will be able to post how much you want him despite his being about as attractive and poisonous as syphilis, and SwingPisser will take a shit on a seesaw, run home, kiss daddy and wank over his sister's new boobs. It all serves to fuel the helicopter.

It seems so very little, but it prevents abuse to such a sizeable section of society that the value cannot be ignored. So please, please, think about giving twenty minutes of your time for this deserved cause. There are bouncers all over Northampton who will be extremely grateful to you for saving them on toe leather on the midget's arse. Thank you.

The response so far is encouraging



Yes, it's zero now, but we've had a declined offer of a push off the side which the same bidder countered that he would give a piece of his mind.

Thanks to Bob, formerly of Coventry, for that one

The England cricket World Cup squad have pledged their final match fees.

"We're not really in the final, but then he's not really a fucking international nor a team mate so no love lost" said a real cricketer today

Bert wrote:dwarf pissers sucking pig cocks took place

Guest wrote:They are, however, struggling to integrate - not unlike the Canine Rescue Centre, they know little other than abuse and as such seek to abuse by return.

Yeah, well, fuck them. They aren't dogs, they're people and they should grow a pair.

I'll admit it, having seen this scene from the site, I was wrong. It isn't pretty

Spoiler:

Sabotage!

Can't believe I wrote this either

Another year on and the appeal continues. Sadly, it's struggling as the faceless nonentities continue to stalk whoever they can on FaceBook, even entering the field of Twitter despite the fact that "I don't get it".

Twitter is a sophisticated medium, where all answers need to be succinct and pointed. It is therefore inappropriate for PunterInAFlatWithHisSister and ILikeToPissOnKidsPlaygrounds, who put less than an inch of meaning into every 50 feet of words. Please remember that when you laugh at them - moronity is for life, not just Cunters. Give what you a can. A hearty guffaw will go a long way

Remember these twats?

I can't remember; can I live without it and have I gone back yet?

Guest wrote:Many of you will now be aware of the humanitarian disaster that has occurred at C Punters Place.  

After many months of internal civil strife, where repeated excesses including rape, child abuse, drug abuse and dwarf pissers sucking pig cocks took place, the situation took a turn for the worse yesterday when Ian Brady was appointed headmaster.  Blackberries all over the network were silenced as martial law was instigated under the new leader who will only accept being called by his operation name, SnowPlough.

SnowPlough has redistributed ministries to several figureheads who, although holding no real power, report back to SnowPlough in the hope of being allowed to "greet his Wand of Might".

The four puppets - codenamed HandWash, SwingPisser, BlackDog and ProfessorTwat - have all but forced the entire forum into refugee status.  The quote "The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our time" has been heard - at least, the first couple of words was but then it was muffled by a green pie retrieved from the bins at Morrison's.  Consequently, there is a twofold problem - the first is that forum refugees are now seeking succour in other sites.  They are, however, struggling to integrate - not unlike the Canine Rescue Centre, they know little other than abuse and as such seek to abuse by return.

Yeah, well, fuck them.  They aren't dogs, they're people and they should grow a pair.  Fuck me, how hard is it to be civil?

The second, however, is the source of this appeal.  SnowPlough and the Puppets [what a great name that would be for a novelty Christmas single band] are now suddenly bereft of victims.  They have no children to molest, no families to treat as human shields, no women to wank over from the safety of mummy's box room.  Left untouched, they'll buy some Carex and force themselves on no end of poor women and children in the real world and try to befriend them just so that they can try and torture them later by asking inappropriate questions about their seven-year-old male relatives.

This can be avoided, however.  By donating just twenty minutes, you can log into C Punters Place in a front account, post any bollocks once, fuck off away from the screen and cook some dinner, maybe, and after twenty minutes, without reading, reply with a   .  At that point you can log out.  In those twenty minutes, BlackDog will have masked his IP four times, ProfessorTwat will have chuckled to himself like a boggle-eyed Santa and posted nothing I can even remember, the empty-headed cunt, HandWash will have wanked himself stupid, Bedlam-style and will be able to post how much you want him despite his being about as attractive and poisonous as syphilis, and SwingPisser will take a shit on a seesaw, run home, kiss daddy and wank over his sister's new boobs.  It all serves to fuel the helicopter.

It seems so very little, but it prevents abuse to such a sizeable section of society that the value cannot be ignored.  So please, please, think about giving twenty minutes of your time for this deserved cause.  There are bouncers all over Northampton who will be extremely grateful to you for saving them on toe leather on the midget's arse.  Thank you.