depression,bipolar,whatever,maybe mg is right,but what does a bloke do?

doctor,
i'm fed-up.
can i have some happy pills please?
just like that eh?

unable to see the way forward right now.
no doubt,
i shall survive this latest trough,
trouble is.
i really can't be bothered to deal with this,
or anything else.
just work,
and sleep.
so long as bills are paid,
nothing else matters.
life,family,nothing.

it's not so much what people think of me,
that's not important,
but if i really DO have a mental health problem.

i can't help thinking how my life might have been.

a bit late for that now.

if only'if only.

i really don't know what to do.
and i'm not suicidal cos i don't have the balls.

it's no fun guys.

please,
don't go feeling sorry for me eh?
that's not what this about.

OKAY?

AND MG,
i can't okay?
i just can't.

well,
i'm not bipolar.

I think you should go tothe docs, its more than being fed up.imo.

eric if you aint gonna listen to your friends, then what hope have you got?
i was on antidepressants for 16 years...believe me, if you keep thinking like this and living like this you will NEVER get better, ffs, take control!!!

look!
this "taking control gig",
scares the shit out of me.
how do you deal with the realisation that 40 years of your life have been a mistake?
that ,everything you ever believed,every thought that you lived by,governed your life,was actually,a mistake?
and what about the prospect of a new me?
i don't know that i'd want a new,self-assured,positive,maybe even "agressive "me.
the "here and now" is not perfect,whose life is?
but it's stable,and rather like an old pair of slippers,y'know.
comfortable.
if there was another way,
my doctor?

"oh depressed eh?
yeah,yeah,blah'blah.
take these,
we'll get you some counselling.
now run along there's good chap"

and COUNSELLORS,ARGH !!!!
irritate the crap out of me.
i might just strangle somebody.

you'll just have to tolerate my moaning.

i could put a whinge-alert on those threads maybe.

later.

I hate being bipolar, it's fantastic...

dd where the fuck you been m8?????