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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 9:09 am


# Last night’s role-playing sex was superb. I was He-Man – the Most Powerful Man In The Universe - while the wife was my arch-enemy, Skeletor 3:25 AM Apr 30th via web

# I told her she better protect "Snake Moutain" because I was intent on smashing my way in to get what I want. It was exhilarating. 3:28 AM Apr 30th via web

# The missus even introduced a little sex toy at one point. I named it 'Orko'. 3:38 AM Apr 30th via web
# My flacid penis was Cringer - becoming the mighty Battle Cat when fully erect. That kitty can roar, let me tell you. 3:30 AM Apr 30th via web

# Needless to say, He-Man used his "fabulous secret powers" & unleashed them all over Skeletor. He then left Snake Mountain by the back door. 3:41 AM Apr 30th via web


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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 9:16 am


# Tried some of that 'Meow Meow' stuff last night. Never again.

# The wife came back from her Cobbling course to find me standing on the roof, dressed like Colonel Gaddafi and arguing with a pigeon.

# She tried to coax me down with a Wagon Wheel but I roared: "Stay clear of the Moors!", ripped off the Sky dish & tried to leap into heaven.

# She finally got me to bed at 4am, but not before I'd shaved off my pubes, glued them to my upper lip and started chanting: "To me, to you!". 1:50 AM Apr 28th via web
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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 11:15 am

bitofatwat wrote:

# Tried some of that 'Meow Meow' stuff last night. Never again.

# The wife came back from her Cobbling course to find me standing on the roof, dressed like Colonel Gaddafi and arguing with a pigeon.

# She tried to coax me down with a Wagon Wheel but I roared: "Stay clear of the Moors!", ripped off the Sky dish & tried to leap into heaven.

# She finally got me to bed at 4am, but not before I'd shaved off my pubes, glued them to my upper lip and started chanting: "To me, to you!". 1:50 AM Apr 28th via web

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 11:33 am

Second one is brilliant.

First one you could combine with the second one, he could dress up as GW and she could dress up as Iraq, no, Afghanistan, no, Iran. Safe word is "Saudi".

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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 11:36 am

Probably one of the funniest ive seen bert, you can follow big Sam here

http://twitter.com/TheBig_Sam

lol! lol! lol! lol!
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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 11:40 am

Will look in later - off out shortly

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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 12:35 pm

Bert wrote:Second one is brilliant.

Agreed

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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 10:11 pm

People always ask: "Big Sam, what's your favourite Lenny Kravitz album?" "That's easy," I reply. "The Best of Terence Trent D'Arby. Next."

I can't really add to that.

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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 10:13 pm

Put a wash on and noticed some of the wife's knickers. Skidmarks everywhere. Big fucking beefy gravy tracks all over them. Dirty bitch.

Laughing
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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 10:14 pm

bitofatwat wrote:Put a wash on and noticed some of the wife's knickers. Skidmarks everywhere. Big fucking beefy gravy tracks all over them. Dirty bitch.

Laughing

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Post  Guest Mon May 03, 2010 10:16 pm

What a lovely day. I'm wearing lemon shorts, a white and custard-striped cotton T-Shirt and my new mustard Crocs. I look like a sexy duck.

I could weep, I really could.

That woman in Claire's Accessories was so right. These fingerless gloves really do improve any outfit.

Outstanding

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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 10:19 pm

Just had a wank with an oven glove on. The sensation was electric, but I've got bits of Findus Crispy Pancake all over my cock now. Laughing Laughing
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Post  morning_glory Mon May 03, 2010 10:22 pm

your family eats Findus Crispy Pancake Shocked
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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 10:30 pm

morning_glory wrote:your family eats Findus Crispy Pancake Shocked

No its big Sams twitter page T ...Link above Laughing
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Post  bitofatwat Mon May 03, 2010 10:31 pm

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Post  morning_glory Mon May 03, 2010 10:35 pm


I thought, 'hes being mean to old bev' Neutral
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