A BLAST FROM THE PAST

The forum is an integral part of Betfair and is well-used. It consists of many sections from 'Horse Racing', 'Football' and other sports to 'ChitChat' and the oddly termed, 'Labchat'. The forum is mostly used by people to post their tips on sporting events, to report on events 'in-running' and to self-promote. In fact the use of the forum to promote punters' self-delusions is one of its most attractive features.

Betfair argue that the forum is not moderated and yet several esteemed users in the past have been banned from posting. This would indicate that the forum is populated by snivelling grasses such as Canaryboy, Pumphol and Studyform. Any form of opinion that deviates from the most liberal of views is pounced upon and bannings will follow within minutes.

The 'Horse Racing' and 'Football' forums are renowned for some hilarious threads where a user will offer up a 'tip' or piece of advice. These tips will invariably fail and numerous posts of pleasure, delight and ridicule will follow. These tips will often be posted in capital letters and include the phrases, 'FREE MONEY', 'FREE MUNNY' and '100% GUARANTEED TIP'. A great exponent of these threads include Obeone and his legendary 'A ABSOULTE CERTAINTY' thread where he ordered the 'Big Players like himself' to get on unders in the Man Utd v Roma Champions League match that United went on to win 7-1. Other legends include Tommycz, President George Bush and Barack Obama who were unfailing in their ability to produce losing, poor-value selections. It has been argued by some that these three names are in fact the same poster.

None though can hold a candle to odwyer1980, a self-obsessed poster who lives at home with his mother and plays with Star Wars toys while trying to sue banks in the UK for inflicting bank charges upon him. A highlight from this user was laying a 79-1 winner in a Spanish football match. Another was laying a string of outsider horses before inevitably one won. Naturally, this was the one horse where he had traded out in-running.

The most famous member of the Betfair forum was, each way, a maniacal midget who was well known for his cheery good morning threads, and threatening to murder most of the forum on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, his reign of terror came to an end one night early last year. When, after arriving home drunk and declaring his love for bungle, a strapping middle aged man with a bizarre taste in mop salesmen, each way completely lost the plot and threatened to kill Betfair customer services, after they failed to pick up the phone and tell him how great he was for the 15th consecutive night.

Fresh is a common poster on the chit-chat forum, he is lengendary known for being fat and tries to meet up with any female chit chatters.

A recent arrival to the forum was a twenty-two stone trucker called Dave who wears unwashed jeans and has a hairy back. He posts under the name of 'Raspberry Ripple' and indulges in unnatural activities with a junkie called Drival.

The chit-chat forum has many different topics which can be rather funny. "Have you seen Dead's Man Shoes?" is a very popular thread title. The chit chat section is also home to a few pikey's who talk non stop garbage

The person supposedly in charge is someone called Tim Wells, a spitefull, vindictive jumped up petty little Hitler who was probably a traffic warden in his previous life. Probably bullied as a child, he takes great delight in treating people differently according to how much they use the site, or who else they know at the company.

Miss Jones is a regular forumite, which all the boys fancy. She can create a poker tournament involving chit chat writers in a matter of seconds.

A lot of the freaks banned from Betfair now live in a place called Punters Place. You can meet the original author of this piece there. No gay cowboys allowed, though because it encourages responses such as "Go swallow a d!ldo you tw@t".

Also there is the character calling himself Holte Ender (named after a stand at the ground of a mediocre football team) His unerring ability to pick out long odds on losers, always ensures that he gets plenty of attention from fellow forum members! But even though the responses from fellow members is less then favourable, it still does not deter this serial poster.