time;

it's funny,
i find myself thinking sometimes,
like now,
how time flies by.

the weeks,
and the months.

it's monday,
again,
and i'm sitting here planning my trips to asda's.

before i know it,
i shall be on the bus midweek,
fresh vegies shopping friday,
saturday cook-up,
then monday again.

and yet,
my life seems so,,,,,

motionless.
non-eventful.
almost as if,
time is standing still.
and then suddenly,
without warning,
i get a reminder from my body.

saying "no'no,i don't think so.those days are gone".

i was trying a few yoga positions earlier.



i wonder,
and worry,
about the future.

how long before my employers decide that i'm just not up to it any more.

and to be honest,
i'm not.
i really am,
just hanging on.

what i wouldn't give for a nice,
safe,
secure,
REGULAR,
life-routine.

a quiet and private,
self-sufficient,
abode.
where i could just potter about,
passing each day,
with just a few chores,
wash myself twice a week maybe.
have wash days for my tatty attire.
a regular supply of porridge and sultanas.
and a few other basics.
access to a doctor.
live anonymousy.
and just slob-out my remaining years.

i'm tired,
so tired.

i shall soon have to write my xmas shopping-list.

taurus from aldi,
and asda mince pies.

come to think of it,
why write a list at all?
cos i've got eph all else to do with my time.

coffee-time.

okay,
i got my coffee.

i shall drink this then i'd better get toasting,
prep for work,
then climb aboard the treadmill.

happy days.

------------------------------------

and then,
inevitably,
as i get older,
i wonder,
about death.

HOW i shall die.
the circumstances.
and i'm sure that i shall die alone.
leaving nothing,
and nobody behind.
probably be discovered by some poor sod weeks after.

well,
that'll do.

ho'hum.

-----------------------------------------------------

well,
toasting done.
having my last cup of coffee before i leave.
if i drink any more,
i won't make it to work.
maybe i've got a weak bladder or something,
but i can't go far without needing to pee.

do my pack-up at 6.00.

dine at 6.30.

lie down for a few minutes.

then i'm off to work.

at last,
it's toasting-time once more.