when tomorrow,and the next day,and the next,and the next,is nothing more,than..................

grim .
pointless.
hopeless.
just not worth the effort.

unwilling,
and or unable,
to engage.
with anything.
or anybody.

yeahhhhhhhhhhh,

eric's on a downer.

life's a treadmill.

life's a bitch.

pleasure?
enjoyment?
fun?
a smile even.

i've forgoten how.

see no reason to indulge or lend myself,
to such feelings.
or activities.

it's a grind.
it really is.

so,
i'll get my grub.

and like those pads that women put in their panties,
i shall just,

"PRESS ON".





and i'm one of the fortunate,
so why don't i see that?

i just dropped my fork on the floor as i was eating my dinner,
and now i'm seething,
reeling with anger.
and i hate my fork.
only because i know that it hates me.
how do i know that?
i just know.
okay?

what is wrong with me?

i pulled the shower curtain rail of the wall earlier,
and i'm pissed off about that to.
it's only one of those spring-loaded telescopic things.

makeshift.
like eveything else in my life.

like me.

makeshift.

time for my lie down already.

yesterday,
i was dead on my feet.

come to think of it,
that's just about normal.

every day,
i wake hoping that nothing bad will happen.
or HAS happened.
i dread every day.

i even dread opening my mail.
-------------------------
my worst nightmare came true today.
i woke up.

yes,
it's THAT bad.
-------------------------------------

life is so tedious.

trying,
doing one's best,
24/7,
just to break even.

and i DO.
but there's nothing else.
it's not enough.

i don't go anywhere,
i don't do anything,
i don't know anybody.
all of my choosing of course.

so REALLY,
what's the point?

As you say...."All of my own choosing"
Try changing things.

i can't mate.

i neither like,
or trust,
my fellow human beings.

was thinking actually,
what a waste my winning the lottery would be.

spending my millions alienating myself from society,
whilst bemoaning my loneliness.

square that one.