how about this then?yesssssssssss,from the mail.....yeah, i know, wrong thread.:-)

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by ephraim hardcastle.

AESTHETE brian sewell's second volume of memoirs,
outsider11,
contains unusual advice to those who make romantic assignations in the lavatories at harrods and don't wish to get caught by the police.
'I learned the trick of camouflaging the feet of the recipient ( of his favours ) in carrier bags,
so that any suspicious guardian of morals glancing under the door,
would see only the feet of a heavily laden customer'.

"ingenious!"

IT'S CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMAS.

well i thought it was funny.

i had no idea.
a bit like the "mile high club" i suppose.

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meanwhile,

one melanie phillips,
uses up a whole page,
regaling joe public,
and his wife probably,
with her fears of water,
and swimming.

to this i can relate.

as the great david bowie once sang,
"i wish i could swim".

i wish that i could be coaxed into water that covered my knees.


i've often wished that i could find some place,
out of town,
where i might be coaxed,
coached,
and taught,
ultimately,
to swim.

but,
i'd need privacy.
swimming baths always have onlookers.

it isn't gonna happen.

and at 58.

does it really matter?

well yes of course it matters.

good for one's self-esteem apparently.

but then i suppose that any the attainment of any sort of self-improvement would be.

life eh?

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