some cnut in a backyard close by,

revving a fuckin motorbike.

boys and their toys.

This could be a marvellously British euphemism for anal sex

Bert think you've got sex on the brain lately

that's about all i'm capable of now.
thinking about it.
and i don't do that very often.

still would be nice to have someone though.

No, just making some amusement for myself, Jonesy.

It probably wouldn't work anyway...

Truth be told, revving your motorbike in a backyard is like finding out where there is a huge party and then rooting around in the bins next door.

erixter wrote:that's about all i'm capable of now.
thinking about it.
and i don't do that very often.

still would be nice to have someone though.

I'm the same, Eric. It's never been the thing that drives me but I find it a huge source of humour because of the store some people put in it. I'm like the Wigan bloke in the joke. "Pie, a pint and a woman, £2" and I turn it down because the pie is obviously shit.

NotBert wrote:No, just making some amusement for myself, Jonesy.

It probably wouldn't work anyway...

Truth be told, revving your motorbike in a backyard is like finding out where there is a huge party and then rooting around in the bins next door.

i do sometimes hanker for the touch of a woman's nake body when i'm lying in bed,
but actual sex?
oh i don't know.
i don't need that sort of pressure.
just a hug and a kiss,
and a suck of a nipple,
would be nice.

Youre not one of those adult babies are you Eric

i don't think so mj.

i think that without the expectation/anticipation of sex,
kind of,
it happens,
fine.
if it doesn't,
well,
that would be fine also.

it probably WOULD happen.

i'm just...........

i get lonely sometimes.

and then,
maybe you're right.


hadn't thought about in that way tbh.

erixter wrote:i do sometimes hanker for the touch of a woman's nake body when i'm lying in bed,
but actual sex?
oh i don't know.
i don't need that sort of pressure.
just a hug and a kiss,
and a suck of a nipple,
would be nice.

if i ever found somebody,
i'd probably end up feeling as guilty as hell.

and how might she feel?
probably end up hating herself for it.

it really is hopeless.

erixter wrote:just a hug and a kiss,
and a suck of a nipple,
would be nice.

I can get that off a bottle of Lancaster Bomber

And it won't tell me off for wiping my penis clean on the curtains in the morning**
















**Anyone who doesn't feel slightly revolted, but also guilty for laughing at that is lying.

i'm in need of some tlc bert.
but then,
i suppose,
so is my wife.

and it isn't going to happen.

as for LB,
whatever does it for you mate.

It is a drink that gives my kidneys a hug, Eric, and all the more pointed for the fact that doctor's orders (well, my orders) means I'm not a big one for indulging any more.

I'll go one further - I am a big one for the watching of people and once you've had a serious problem, you tend to be aware of other people whereas they haven't got a fucking clue. A sick person who was once well knows what it is to be well, but knows what it is to be sick. It doesn't work the other way round. Jonesy will back this up, as will MG - if we retained the capacity, when well, to recall the pain, misery and grief of altered circumstances, we'd all be only children because no-one would ever go through childbirth more than once.

Now my example. People will go forever without sex if needs be. Yes, it's a big driver but it's not an essential. It does sell but at the same time, you don't hve to buy. Now, if you walk into a room of people and say "I'm on metronidazole so I can't drink", jaws will drop and it won't compute; they'll say they couldn't do it; they'll ask you how long and when you say "for the last 18 months", they give you a look that apologises for what they consider to be on a par with the loss of an arm when you're a concert pianist.

Alcohol is a far bigger concern to people than sex. No-one looks at nuns like they have two heads but a teetotaller is seen s a bit of a freak.

given a choice,
i think i'd probably opt for drink.

sexually,
i've been without it a long time now.
it aint so bad.
it's just that,
well,
not even sex.
just the touch of a woman sometimes.
y'know?