Popeye Elbow

I gotsk olecranon bursitis, Olivesk, ark, ak ak ak ak ak.

Seriously, no laughing matter, started as a bit of a sore spot on my elbow yesterday, by last night I was trying to sleep the sleep of delirium while moving around into whatever permutation would allow me to try and sleep without going "ah, argh, fucking heeeeeeelllll" because of how my arm was lying.

The joint is literally red hot (heat in it and recoloured). On antibiotics for it and the pain was such this morning that I was falling asleep on a clothes line as my body craved oblivion.

Easily managed if it responds to the antibiotics, but the fucking nickname of "Popeye elbow" is just taking the piss as I look at it and wait for the fucking anchor to appear.

I have golfer's elbow in the other elbow. Very mild, nothing unduly concerning, but both arms mean I have to be a clever dick when I type...

Fuck that.
 

NotBert wrote:I gotsk olecranon bursitis, Olivesk, ark, ak ak ak ak ak.

Seriously, no laughing matter, started as a bit of a sore spot on my elbow yesterday, by last night I was trying to sleep the sleep of delirium while moving around into whatever permutation would allow me to try and sleep without going "ah, argh, fucking heeeeeeelllll" because of how my arm was lying.

The joint is literally red hot (heat in it and recoloured).  On antibiotics for it and the pain was such this morning that I was falling asleep on a clothes line as my body craved oblivion.

Easily managed if it responds to the antibiotics, but the fucking nickname of "Popeye elbow" is just taking the piss as I look at it and wait for the fucking anchor to appear.

I have golfer's elbow in the other elbow.  Very mild, nothing unduly concerning, but both arms mean I have to be a clever dick when I type...

   

Hope them antibiotics are working bert ....fingers xed here.

They broke through last night, gents. Heat is subsiding, pain is less and movement practically unrestricted although everything is still red and oversized like my cock.

Of course, now my piss stinks of antibiotic...  

The joint is now completely unrestricted in terms of movement (played golf on it yesterday, not a flicker) but the fluid build up is yet to dissipate which means if I rest on the elbow (not the point, that would still hurt) it leaves a fucking trough as an imprint.

Quite strange to look at. Don't understand why I can't catch a common cold but have to get obscure immunocompromisation and conditions that were made up for the Scrabble score by a doctor who was losing.

NotBert wrote:Don't understand why I can't catch a common cold but have to get obscure immunocompromisation and conditions that were made up for the Scrabble score by a doctor who was losing.

Can't wait for my first old timer illness , reckon its in the post ,  

You've not lived, Jonesy, until you've been given a leaflet on pelvic floor exercises and been told "it's not for old people..." then at the top of the leaflet it effectively says "you fucking old bastard..."

Oddly enough, if there's one set of muscles I do regularly exercise, it's my pelvic floor.  Usually when I'm cringing at the aging-faced woman with the spotty arse.

Spoiler:

Frankly, Jonesy, if you don't announce every time you stand up or sit down or even have a refreshing swig of something, you're ageing wrong and I invite you immediately to test my pelvic floor... If you want to put on a nurse's outfit and wash anything that needs it, that'd be fine but I've seen too many wards and had too many dressings for a nurse's outfit to make me think of anything other than sterile prodding tools and I don't like my jollies clinical

Now do it in a clown suit...

I'm physically fucked.
64 next week and feel 94.

Blimey bert nobby did you watch this week horizon ?

I don't watch television Jonesy.

Nobby Cheese wrote:I don't watch television Jonesy.

really , nothing ? , it was about hackers talked about how the yanks got into the machine controlling Irans nuclear programme and basically fucked it up and put them back years ,

We have a flat tv on the wall in the bedroom which the wife watches leaving me in peace in the living room.
I watch football on my pc and sometimes watch The Simpsons and American Dad if I'm in the mood.....and that's it mate.

Ok well I suggest it if you get bored on the I player this guy was in it , I actually thought of you at the end   

missyj wrote:Blimey bert  nobby did you watch this week horizon ?

Not as dramatic as it sounds, Jonesy. My biggest problem tends to be manageable, the pelvic floor stuff was a separate "you might find this useful" thing...

I've done though after my baby , horrible exercise , what are your thoughts on the badger cull bert

missyj wrote:I've done though after my baby , horrible exercise , what are your thoughts on the badger cull bert

Should cull the infected cows and leave the badgers

missyj wrote:I've done though after my baby , horrible exercise , what are your thoughts on the badger cull bert

They have to kill something. It's like they're fucking vampires. You get the feeling that the NFU, were they not doing this, would be stealing into the city and eating council estate babies. The wrong beings are being classed as dangerous vermin.

Yep fucking bastards

missyj wrote:Yep fucking bastards

seconded

Thirded.

Pal of mine in work got the same, coincidence and all that, but he got referred to as "student's elbow" or, as the rest of the group referred to it, "wanker's elbow".  He is younger than me, which would explain "student".  I'm going to pass over the "wanker".  Maybe later...

His actually burst at the point (I'm older, of course, so it's less easy for me to spurt...) and has all but gone.  Mine is now minimal, a vestige that if I hit it on the point, I know about it, but that's about it.

What I will add is, in terms of old man injuries, I got a belter last week.  On the bus between the last and second-to-last stop home (which measures about 200 yards) and the driver decides to go Raikkonen around the marginal bend.  The woman opposite me who was getting off (tidy, younger, a suitable mate for me - stick with the image, not the non-existent question of infidelity) was near the doors and got to secure herself by clutching a bar.

I was out of bar range and so free standing.  I measured my shape as a result on the floor of the bus.  I hit the deck that hard and fast that my pants caused a friction burn on my knee (as opposed to usually getting them from sucking men's cocks in private clubs).  I was straight back up and the woman was suitably concerned for my wellbeing but (and it's the recall of the image now) the dynamic between us had visibly shifted.  Whereas she might have looked at me as an older lech before who was obviously not out of her age band although out of her quality band (let's be realistic), she was now talking to me like I was her dad about to go into sheltered accommodation, never to leave.

(I'm still counting it as a win, I'd just try it on with the warden, I'd get better biscuits if nothing else.)

The other sign of age is, as a younger man, if you take a tumble, your first thought is "Oh Christ, I hope no-one saw that".  Not now.  At 45, it's "Oh Christ, I hope I haven't fucking broken anything."

I was three days before everything realigned.  Fell on my right knee but the weight went on my left side and I was two days melted on the couch in a seated position and everything creaking and shrieking if I moved.

Deep joy.