Bert....

....I've found an arse you can actually put your beer on whilst you go about your business.

I've just bit my screen. And I'm spent

There was a redhead on the train opposite me last week in check pants who was bang tidy and on the concourse off the train, she dropped her bag and it is one of the few times I'm glad I'm in my fifties because I'd have needed to change things as a younger man...

As it was, I just applauded.

This hot weather is really bringing them out where I live.
Being a seaside resort the streets near the sea front are packed with nubile young things wearing shorts so tight they look they are painted on.
My wife has spent the last week clumping me round the head for ogling the little strumpets whilst dribbling from the corners of my mouth.

I maintain there is more alfresco tittery and arsery than ever before. Let's face it, when I was a teen, I could get off by sitting in a pensioner's vacated warm arseprint on a bus, hormones everywhere and it wasn't like this.

Not against it, just saying.

Tone, Christmas Arse

I bet this would empty Santa's sack swiftly.