a really nice female bus-driver....

well,
actually,
it's a shuttle.
that i catch to work every night.
most of the drivers know me by sight,
and i converse with a few of them.,
but there's one really nice female driver.

and i'm old enough to be her dad.

to say that i have the hots for her,
would be stretching it a bit.
but she's really nice,
i look forward to seeing her.

just one of the few joys in my life.


talking of joy;
i woke up in an empty house.
wife and lardthing have taken the dog for a walk.
:idea: :idea: :idea:

i can go switch telly on.

later.

oh well,
maybe not.

bugger it.
i'll go make some bread.

little things give pleasure in life.I got of the bus the other day and a bloke was putting stuff in his car and he said hello are you all right.I wondered why.

you pulled maybe?

maybe, who knows.should I have struck up an conversation?

who knows?

life dilemmas.

sometimes,
quite unintentionally,
we catch a person's eye,
and,
and for a moment,
we feel uncomfortable.
so we say,
"hello",
or something.

maybe it meant nothing,
maybe he's climbing the wall for you,
and you'll probably never know.

lol
one day at the seaside, it was when I was married, something like that happened.I was waiting to go in a phone booth and a bloke came out and our eyes locked, and he smiled.strange feeling.

it's weird,
un-nerving,
frightening almost.

you don't know this person,
have no desire to know this person,,
yet you feel compelled to speak.

spose men are different,i wait for them to speak to me.

we're all waiting for the other person to speak mg.
and it's heart-breaking.

y'know,
when i was in my 30s,
i had this phase,
where i seemed to notice young people.
boy sees girl/girl sees boy, WOW!!!!! FIREWORKS,
clumsy attempts to get close,
then the gig/disco/night out would come to and end,
boy leaves alone,thinking "oh well,she wasn't interested".
she leaves wishing he'd said something.

i thought about grabbing him,
dragging him over to her,
demanding to know both their names,
and saying " LOOK YOU 2,FUCKIN SAY HELLO".

but then,
maybe i was mis-reading the situation.

i think too much.

i've often wondered,
how many perfect/wonderful/beautiful alliances never happened,
because,
we just didn't dare to say something.

the fear of rejection is all-conquering.

and it's so sad.

and i've run out of cider.

FUCK !

its right what you say really.

so many hurt,and hurting people in this world.

mg,
i read an article once about how people can get so screwed up over low self-esteem,and lack of self-confidence.

that "boy sees girl"situation i described.

well,
consider this;
they both go away feeling rejected,
so then,
either one,
or both,
end up hating the other person for not liking them.
you assume that a person doesn't like you because in your mind you're not good enough,nice enough,pretty enough,or whatever.

( he/she couldn't possibly like me,i'm too fat/thin/short/tall/ugly/spotty/......whatever.)

i think i went through that in my own mind with people,
because of my own failings,
and now,
i just don't care.
the hate has gone,
but i avoid going out,
as far as a person can,
and i just turn my back on the world.

i guess i'm totally fucked up to eh!

wow!

how deep is that?

erixter on the couch.

i need to amend that.

i didn't really hate people,
in fact,
i desperately wanted to know people,
but i just wasn't good enough.

so,
apparently,
by keeping myself to myself
i had people thinking that i was rejecting them .

how ironic is that?

it made me a lot of enemies.

and now,,,,,,,,

well,

i've made my bed eh?


but if you look at the ramifications of that,

in a wider context,

ie. society as a whole.

unimaginable bitterness, resentment,and unhappiness,
built on false assumptions.

how very sad.

been thinking inappropriate thoughts about that bus-driver.

never mind,
even I can dream.

I would suppose that the majority of men have inproper thoughts about people other than their partners Eric.

yeah.
you're not wrong.

not knowing what others think of you,
it's a bugger ain' it.

what was that sig about the stupid being cocksure?

trouble is,
the stupid don't seem to mind when they get it wrong.
they just move on.

morning_glory wrote:I would suppose that the majority of men have inproper thoughts about people other than their partners Eric.

Wouldn't single out men there, MG. Nature of the beast as a whole. I'm currently having thoughts about you playing golf dressed as Elvis, for example.

I have a hatred of Elvis that cannot be explained, so you would never see me doing an Elvis impression.Tho I do like pitch and putt.

no more nice female bus-driver.
new timetable,
bigger buses,
running for longer,
and no shuttle.
so,
i'm catching a later bus,
and i get more time at home,
wonderful.

morning_glory wrote:I have a hatred of Elvis than cannot be explained, so you would never see me doing an Elvis impression.Tho I do like pitch and putt.

Here's my pitch:

Where shall I putt it?

Spoiler:

when thread was started,
i saw a tweet saying something along the lines of:

"the voice of love ,is louder than the voice in your head that says you're not good enough. so amp up the positive".
weird huh?
maybe that tweeter's a juicer.