Eurovision Song Contest

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Eurovision Song Contest

Post  NotBert on Sat May 10, 2014 3:24 pm

Fuck me, this has turned political over time.

Turkey don't enter as they're unhappy about the set-up.  Europe has once again said "so fuck?"
Italy declined to enter for over a decade but are back in this year.  Seems they had objections and being Italian, backed away...
A few have said "we're skint, fuck off" and Kosovo have said "We'd love to come but we can't get formal recognition that would let us.  Israel and Morocco, FFS?"

Anyway, the last nine winners have been drawn 17 or bigger and since people have the attention span of a gnat, it's because they can't remember anything that happened more than forty minutes ago.

With that in mind, there are only a few real contenders.  The UK, amazingly, is one.  Drawn 26 of 26 and a song that has been described as "not total shit for once".  Hungary is another but the lead singer is black and as Eastern Europe votes and it's still a racist's paradise, he's fucked.  Sweden and Netherlands are favourites but Sweden, although the pre-event fans vote favourite (and they've found four winners in seven votes since they started doing that) are drawn early, the Dutch are a live draw at 24.  There are a few makeweights who are there to prove they exist, Austria have a drag act who maintains a "she/her" persona but has a beard that is either make up or very close cut and could win but for interest and value, Denmark are hosting, have a solid song and drawn 23, might be lumbered with the fucking show again next year.  Malta meanwhile had a fair show with a folksy effort last year and have gone back to the well this year.  Might nick a place.

Denmark at 25s
Malta at 66s

Play to win the price of a sandwich, you're relying on kids from Belgium with mobile phones FFS. Oh, and the Polish song has a woman with big boobs scrubbing a washboard and Ruth Lorenzo is representing Spain. You'll remember her as the Spanish lass on XFactor who Cowell was clearly desperate to fuck. Because she was bang tidy, not because of any Yewtree connotations
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Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Post  Nobby Cheese on Sat May 10, 2014 8:08 pm

I'd rather watch wood warp.
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Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Post  NotBert on Sat May 10, 2014 11:49 pm

Fucking hell, Tone, the Polish song was amazing. I had to drop my pants and crack one out right there and then as she went at it with the churn-type thing after doing the washboard thing.

Mum's told me not to come round and watch it there in future as a result.
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Re: Eurovision Song Contest

Post  Nobby Cheese on Sun May 11, 2014 2:08 pm

NotBert wrote:Fucking hell, Tone, the Polish song was amazing.  I had to drop my pants and crack one out right there and then as she went at it with the churn-type thing after doing the washboard thing.

Mum's told me not to come round and watch it there in future as a result.

 lol! 
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