Greatest Black People Of All Time

In a poll of over 45,000 people, the most famous and revered black people have been voted for by the worldwide community. Naturally, this vote was cast using only white people, because what do black people know? If it were left to them the list of greatest ever black people would be full of nigger rappers covered in bling and blowing each other's arses all to cunt in drive-by shootings. The list provides a few surprises and shocks, with many coloured folk of renown being completely ignored. There is no place on the list, for example, for the likes of paedophile white wannabe dead pop star Michael Jackson, convicted rapist nigger thug and former boxer Mike Tyson, useless drug cheat Linford Christie and, of course, that cunt off 'The A Team'.

And so, without further ado, here is the list - The Greatest Black People Of All Time...

10. Nelson Mandela. The former terrorist bomber, prison convict and later President of South Africa, can be seen as one of the most influential of all coons ever to have walked the earth. With his beaming smile, his twenty years behind bars, his murdering trouble-maker of a wife and boring birthday concerts featuring Annie fucking Lennox and him off Coldplay, no-one can doubt the massive influence he has had on all our lives, black or white.

9. Martin Luther King...would have been one of the greatest black men ever had he survived a bit longer and not got his fucking brains blown out of his black head one April morning in Memphis in 1968. Famous for trying to make black people as good as whites in 1960's USA, he also wrote the popular song 'I Have A Dream' by Abba, for which he will always be remembered fondly by black and white. In my house he was most famous for my dad jumping up and turning the telly off every time he came on, shouting: "You can get that black bastard off that thing, an' all!"

8. Him off 'Love Thy Neighbour'. There is no doubt that the most popular black man on telly during the early 1970's was Him Off 'Love Thy Neighbour'. He was great, him. Always rolling his eyes and doing that innocent, hurt nigger thing so well, that you almost felt sorry for the cunt. A great man, in 1998 he was awarded the Queen's Award To Patronising Racial Stereotypes, an honour of which he said he was most proud. Now appearing on 'Eastenders', his career has not suffered one iota given the fact that nobody calls him "nig-nog" or "Sambo" any more, or makes reference to his having a bone through his nose and a fucking big dick.

7. Will Smith/Samuel L Jackson/Denzel Washington/Morgan Freeman. All four were voted in at 7th place given the fact that most white people can't fucking tell which one is which. It's true. Ask anybody who's ever watched a film with any of them in it, and you'll get the same response..."He was in it, that coon...you know...he was in that one set in the prison, you know when he got arrested for a crime he never done...or was it the one where he shot them blokes in that diner with John Travolta..." Let's face it, the bastards all look the fucking same, so who really cares? They're all shit, and can't act anyway. They only get give Oscars and shit because we feel sorry for them.

6. Al Jolson. Jolson was perhaps the first famous black man ever, when he burst onto the scene in the early 1920's with his ground-breaking brand of jazz singing. No-one had ever heard his like before, and he soon became the most famous and highly-paid performer on the world stage. It was Jolson who uttered the very first words ever heard in talking pictures when, during the opening scenes of MGM's 'The Jazz Singer' he said: "You ain't heard nothing yet'. Sadly for Jolson, his career was curtailed when rumours abounded that he wasn't actually black; people believed that, rather than being a true nigger, he was a white man what used to put all black make-up on and pretend to be black. He denied this, and even appeared on the 'Johnny Carson Show' in 1956, shortly after his death, and pulled his 24-inch cock out to prove he was in fact a true black man. As further proof, several white woman came forward to say he had fathered 34 children by him without receiving a penny in benefit, and the impounding certificates of his four BMW's were also brought forward as evidence.

5. Idi Amin. In fifth place is the former president of Uganda, General Idi Allamullah Nignig Bumalackawe Amin. In a 2002 poll he was voted The World's Blackest Ever Man, beating off the likes of Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe, singer Billy Ocean, him off 'Love Thy Neighbour' and that black four-eyed bastard off the Halifax Building Society adverts. Amin was so black, commented one judge, that he was "almost fucking purple, for fuck's sake!" Indeed, so black was this despotic and evil megalomanic fascist black twat, that a whole new phrase was coined to describe his black cuntishness - "You Fucking Murdering Big Fat Black Twat".

4. Muhammad Ali. Boxer Ali is perhaps the least surprising member on the list, being as he is one of the greatest ambassadors for black people for the past fifty years or so. Indeed, so proud was Ali of his black slave roots that he gave up his name and chose a Muslim one so that people wouldn't know he was a nigger. Also, he famously displayed his bravery and true American spirit by refusing to fight in the Vietnam war - instead choosing to stay at home and try to be as pale as he could. Yet despite all of this controversy, he has appeared in many polls throughout the years connected with black pride. In 1987 he was voted "Most Cowardly Black Twat" by readers of 'Coon Boxing Monthly' magazine, and in 1994 received the accolade of "Nigger Shaking Bastard" by readers of 'Black Parkinson Sufferers Monthly'. More recently, in an online poll for www.slaveringoakwardrobe.com website, he was voted "Coon Dickhead Of The Century".

3. Colin Platt. Not many people know Colin Platt, who he is or where he comes from or what he does for a living - to say nothing of why he was voted onto this auspicious list. colin Platt was the fucking bastard who invented and patented that golliwog what used to be on all the Robertson's jam jars ages ago. It's true. You can Google it if you like.

2. He based it on some nigger he knew years ago.

1. There can only be one person who can be called and known as the greatest black person who ever lived, and that person is....(drum roll!)...Her Off 'Tom & Jerry'...you know the one, that fat bitch what was always dodging about, standing on chairs to stop that mouse running up her drawers and twatting that cat with a broom. She was bloody great, she was. I loved her, me. But you never saw her face, did you? All you ever saw was her fat arse, her stockings and her slippers...as she shouted "Thomas!" at the top of her voice, chasing a cat through a living room the length of the M6. A true nigger in the greatest sense of the word.

Nobby Cheese wrote:In a poll of over 45,000 people, the most famous and revered black people have been voted for by the worldwide community. Naturally, this vote was cast using only white people, because what do black people know? If it were left to them the list of greatest ever black people would be full of nigger rappers covered in bling and blowing each other's arses all to cunt in drive-by shootings. The list provides a few surprises and shocks, with many coloured folk of renown being completely ignored. There is no place on the list, for example, for the likes of paedophile white wannabe dead pop star Michael Jackson, convicted rapist nigger thug and former boxer Mike Tyson, useless drug cheat Linford Christie and, of course, that cunt off 'The A Team'.

And so, without further ado, here is the list - The Greatest Black People Of All Time...

10. Nelson Mandela. The former terrorist bomber, prison convict and later President of South Africa, can be seen as one of the most influential of all coons ever to have walked the earth. With his beaming smile, his twenty years behind bars, his murdering trouble-maker of a wife and boring birthday concerts featuring Annie fucking Lennox and him off Coldplay, no-one can doubt the massive influence he has had on all our lives, black or white.

9. Martin Luther King...would have been one of the greatest black men ever had he survived a bit longer and not got his fucking brains blown out of his black head one April morning in Memphis in 1968. Famous for trying to make black people as good as whites in 1960's USA, he also wrote the popular song 'I Have A Dream' by Abba, for which he will always be remembered fondly by black and white. In my house he was most famous for my dad jumping up and turning the telly off every time he came on, shouting: "You can get that black bastard off that thing, an' all!"

8. Him off 'Love Thy Neighbour'. There is no doubt that the most popular black man on telly during the early 1970's was Him Off 'Love Thy Neighbour'. He was great, him. Always rolling his eyes and doing that innocent, hurt nigger thing so well, that you almost felt sorry for the cunt. A great man, in 1998 he was awarded the Queen's Award To Patronising Racial Stereotypes, an honour of which he said he was most proud. Now appearing on 'Eastenders', his career has not suffered one iota given the fact that nobody calls him "nig-nog" or "Sambo" any more, or makes reference to his having a bone through his nose and a fucking big dick.

7. Will Smith/Samuel L Jackson/Denzel Washington/Morgan Freeman. All four were voted in at 7th place given the fact that most white people can't fucking tell which one is which. It's true. Ask anybody who's ever watched a film with any of them in it, and you'll get the same response..."He was in it, that coon...you know...he was in that one set in the prison, you know when he got arrested for a crime he never done...or was it the one where he shot them blokes in that diner with John Travolta..." Let's face it, the bastards all look the fucking same, so who really cares? They're all shit, and can't act anyway. They only get give Oscars and shit because we feel sorry for them.

6. Al Jolson. Jolson was perhaps the first famous black man ever, when he burst onto the scene in the early 1920's with his ground-breaking brand of jazz singing. No-one had ever heard his like before, and he soon became the most famous and highly-paid performer on the world stage. It was Jolson who uttered the very first words ever heard in talking pictures when, during the opening scenes of MGM's 'The Jazz Singer' he said: "You ain't heard nothing yet'. Sadly for Jolson, his career was curtailed when rumours abounded that he wasn't actually black; people believed that, rather than being a true nigger, he was a white man what used to put all black make-up on and pretend to be black. He denied this, and even appeared on the 'Johnny Carson Show' in 1956, shortly after his death, and pulled his 24-inch cock out to prove he was in fact a true black man. As further proof, several white woman came forward to say he had fathered 34 children by him without receiving a penny in benefit, and the impounding certificates of his four BMW's were also brought forward as evidence.

5. Idi Amin. In fifth place is the former president of Uganda, General Idi Allamullah Nignig Bumalackawe Amin. In a 2002 poll he was voted The World's Blackest Ever Man, beating off the likes of Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe, singer Billy Ocean, him off 'Love Thy Neighbour' and that black four-eyed bastard off the Halifax Building Society adverts. Amin was so black, commented one judge, that he was "almost fucking purple, for fuck's sake!" Indeed, so black was this despotic and evil megalomanic fascist black twat, that a whole new phrase was coined to describe his black cuntishness - "You Fucking Murdering Big Fat Black Twat".

4. Muhammad Ali. Boxer Ali is perhaps the least surprising member on the list, being as he is one of the greatest ambassadors for black people for the past fifty years or so. Indeed, so proud was Ali of his black slave roots that he gave up his name and chose a Muslim one so that people wouldn't know he was a nigger. Also, he famously displayed his bravery and true American spirit by refusing to fight in the Vietnam war - instead choosing to stay at home and try to be as pale as he could. Yet despite all of this controversy, he has appeared in many polls throughout the years connected with black pride. In 1987 he was voted "Most Cowardly Black Twat" by readers of 'Coon Boxing Monthly' magazine, and in 1994 received the accolade of "Nigger Shaking Bastard" by readers of 'Black Parkinson Sufferers Monthly'. More recently, in an online poll for www.slaveringoakwardrobe.com website, he was voted "Coon Dickhead Of The Century".

3. Colin Platt. Not many people know Colin Platt, who he is or where he comes from or what he does for a living - to say nothing of why he was voted onto this auspicious list. colin Platt was the fucking bastard who invented and patented that golliwog what used to be on all the Robertson's jam jars ages ago. It's true. You can Google it if you like.

2. He based it on some nigger he knew years ago.

1. There can only be one person who can be called and known as the greatest black person who ever lived, and that person is....(drum roll!)...Her Off 'Tom & Jerry'...you know the one, that fat bitch what was always dodging about, standing on chairs to stop that mouse running up her drawers and twatting that cat with a broom. She was bloody great, she was. I loved her, me. But you never saw her face, did you? All you ever saw was her fat arse, her stockings and her slippers...as she shouted "Thomas!" at the top of her voice, chasing a cat through a living room the length of the M6. A true nigger in the greatest sense of the word.

I cannot let this list get into the hands of Tabloid Lover or Red

Will Smith/Samuel L Jackson/Denzel Washington/Morgan Freeman. All four were voted in at 7th place given the fact that most white people can't fucking tell which one is which. It's true. Ask anybody who's ever watched a film with any of them in it, and you'll get the same response..."He was in it, that coon...you know...he was in that one set in the prison, you know when he got arrested for a crime he never done...or was it the one where he shot them blokes in that diner with John Travolta..." Let's face it, the bastards all look the fucking same, so who really cares? They're all shit, and can't act anyway. They only get give Oscars and shit because we feel sorry for them.

Nobby Cheese wrote:Will Smith/Samuel L Jackson/Denzel Washington/Morgan Freeman. All four were voted in at 7th place given the fact that most white people can't fucking tell which one is which. It's true. Ask anybody who's ever watched a film with any of them in it, and you'll get the same response..."He was in it, that coon...you know...he was in that one set in the prison, you know when he got arrested for a crime he never done...or was it the one where he shot them blokes in that diner with John Travolta..." Let's face it, the bastards all look the fucking same, so who really cares? They're all shit, and can't act anyway. They only get give Oscars and shit because we feel sorry for them.

Tis funny but i'm not a racist

bitofatwat wrote:

Nobby Cheese wrote:Will Smith/Samuel L Jackson/Denzel Washington/Morgan Freeman. All four were voted in at 7th place given the fact that most white people can't fucking tell which one is which. It's true. Ask anybody who's ever watched a film with any of them in it, and you'll get the same response..."He was in it, that coon...you know...he was in that one set in the prison, you know when he got arrested for a crime he never done...or was it the one where he shot them blokes in that diner with John Travolta..." Let's face it, the bastards all look the fucking same, so who really cares? They're all shit, and can't act anyway. They only get give Oscars and shit because we feel sorry for them.

Tis funny but i'm not a racist

Nor is the author of the piece!

I could do this for white folk and my list would have to be about a hundred. Like that twat Churchill with his face like a melted baby...

I dare you to do it for Belgians though - you get to three and start naming Load Of Cock

Al Jolson

seriously what about Black Women
Maya Angelou
Alice Walker
Toni Morrison

morning_glory wrote:Al Jolson

yes I know he was a blacked-up Jew