male urges;impotent,or not.libidinous,or not.what DO i want?or not.

it's strange.
sitting here,
in the bunker.
or lying,
half asleep,
in my bed.
the mind gets to wandering.
y'know?

a desire for conversation.
good,
interesting,
stimulating,
conversation.

and company.

yes,
that sort of company.

then imaginings,
fantacising,
mind running riot.

dirt,
filth,
you know what .

and then miss sock,
takes a person,
(could be any person you understand)
in hand.
funny how men,
of a certain age,
are able to ejaculate while flacid.
and yet,
unable to sustain an erection,
for more than a minute or so.

and then,
when the deed is done,
it's like female company?
why would i need female company?

and we're back to conversation.
meetings of the mind.

stimulation,
mental stimulation.


---------------------------------

it's easy to see,
why people again,
of a certain age,
stray.

it's not so much sexual.

loneliness.
the need to communicate.
just to be reminded,
of one's existence,
that actually,
you're not alone.
in this god forsaken world.

but,
and again,
( once at a certain age )
oh who am i trying to kid?
it's purgatory.

but it must be same for her also.

at least i have a roof,
WE have a roof.
i eat,fairly well.
and i have a job.
a god-damned fuckin awful job,
but a job.

and suddenly i find myself smiling.


-------------------------------
and this is one of the reasons,
why i absolutely MUST not,
befriend any strange females right now.

not that they're queing up,
but,
it really could,
just totally,
fuck my whole life up.

as if.

so to all you lonely 50 somethings,
hang in there eh?

the worst is over.
well,
almost.

ramblings of an old fool.

insane,
or not?

well,
who knows?
best not to dwell on it eh?