Whats 6" long and hasn't been sucked for 9 months?

Jimmy Saville's Cigar

Nobby Cheese wrote:Jimmy Saville's cock

I've got news for you. I broke into his coffin and, well, you can guess the rest. Six months ago, it was a Christmas present.

Rolf Harris's cock.

His cell mate doesn't have the same boast

Saw the "what has fourteen windows that won't open" gag, which turns out is Keith Chegwin's advent calendar.

Really shit joke. He'd have stolen it, therefore, so it's what he would have wanted (well, second after "not dying")