there's me,wrestling with the stickie dilemma,going through so much soul-searching,(should i? shouldn't i? yeah but-no but-what if?maybe..

and if i tried anything,
she'd probably just tell to fuck off.

oh the joys of life.

just fucking do it , you will be a long time dead eric , stop all this pontificating on here and do something in real life then tell us about it

missyj wrote:just fucking do it , you will be a long time dead eric , stop all this pontificating on here and do something in real life then tell us about it

yeah,
i really am sorry to be such a bore.

i thought about telling boat to delete my shit if it gets too much.

if she WAS,
ever interested,
i just couldn't do that to her.

too much guilt.

it's all bllx.
you know that.

im thinking of you not us eric , i dont mind one bit how much you write on here , would be good to hear about some action though

oh you dirty bitch.

i know this is gonna seem weird but,
i like her too much to contemplate using her that way.

and REALLY!

the more i think about it,
the more absurd it seems.

i mean,

what could she possibly want with a miserable old cnut like me.

i'm just wishful thinking mj.

and i get the impression that,
as nice as she is,
and as friendly as she may seem,
sex really doesn't matter with her.

not that i mind that.

pillow-talk is what i miss most.

just to hold somebody,
and be held,
close,
real close,y'know?

but that morning when we chatted for a few minutes,
and we stared into each others eyes,
for what seemed like an eternity,
must've been all of 20 seconds.
omfg!
WOW!
i sensed such an intensity,
it made my knees wobble.

and for an absolute millisecond,
the blink of an eye,
no more,
i glimpsed those lips.

i always thought people with suicidal tendencies didnt really give a fuck , i mean if you want to die why do you care about all this trivial stuff

erixter wrote:but that morning when we chatted for a few minutes,
and we stared into each others eyes,
for what seemed like an eternity,
must've been all of 20 seconds.
omfg!
WOW!
i sensed such an intensity,
it made my knees wobble.

and for an absolute millisecond,
the blink of an eye,
no more,
i glimpsed those lips.

missyj wrote:i always thought people with suicidal tendencies didnt really give a fuck , i mean if you want to die why do you care about all this trivial stuff

mj,
it's the careing,
and the feeling,
that hurts/causes such pain.

those of us that care/feel/and see,
so much.
we ARE the truly troubled souls of this world.

does that seem a naff thing to see?

i am so troubled by.............

so much.

missyj wrote:i always thought people with suicidal tendencies didnt really give a fuck , i mean if you want to die why do you care about all this trivial stuff

you are so wrong.

She certainly is.

well i dont really know much about it , iv experienced it though

missyj wrote:i always thought people with suicidal tendencies didnt really give a fuck , i mean if you want to die why do you care about all this trivial stuff

it's the careing that hurts.
it can really CUT.

how come you dont care about the most important thing

missyj wrote:how come you dont care about the most important thing

mj,
the answer to that one is quite convoluted.
not entirely un-fathomable.
but totally un-workable.

maybe i'm trying to read things into this stickie business that just aren't there.

we're back in "not speaking" mode right now.

but does that REALLY have to MEAN anything?
that's just the female psyche isn't it?
time of the month and all that?
give it a few days and she'll all happy ' chatty ' and smilie again.

i do wonder what SHE'S thinking.
but then,
why must i assume that she's thinking ANYTHING?
i think it would be a relief to have her tire of the situation and disappear.
i DO feel that she wanted us to be on speaking terms.
but we DO seem to have hit an impasse.
and that's it.
game over.

you WOULD think,
that at our ages,
one of us would have taken the bull by the horns.
but i suppose women just don't DO that do they.
and well,
you know me.


i keep thinking about if i COULD invite her to have a coffee with me sometime.
but what IF she agreed?
and what IF we really like each other?
too much pain,
too many tears.
i just gotta sit this one out.
i try not to be at my stop before her.
but i get there.
hoping for so much as a sideways glance.

i thought/hoped that with age,
this sort of thing wouldn't happen any more.
but we can't help liking who we like can we?
it,
or life as they say,
"just happens".

well,
that's the midweek moan over,
and i gotta go.

later maybe.