Cup Final Tickets

Great stuff....but is Puskas performing?

Pretty certain he's gone, Tone. Isn't even a feature of the bench. More surprised that Chris Davies has gone, tbh - another who hasn't featured after going to Aber and coming back. Puskas I think wasn't happy with his lot as it was - when you saw him off the park he was very much "heart on his sleeve". The second half of last season was relegation form as well - I think Gibbo was very much redrawing and planning for this season once we fell away from Caernarfon/Cefn mid-season.

This side is hugely different from last year - Jack Kenny was to a degree fighting for a place with Puskas and Alex Jones but now established, is very much showing Rhyl have fucked up in releasing him, end of 14/15 (they released Carl Lamb at the same time and then took him back. They're twats like that), as this year at 25 he's a yard faster than anyone in these leagues and has excellent close control for a tall man that makes him a constant penalty risk. Alex Jones oddly enough went the other way (with The Other Twin) and is at Rhyl. The front line is a very different beast.

Jack Kenny scored 4 goals in 19 WPL games for Rhyl. He managed six in one game at Mold Alex this season and has twelve in fourteen after fifteen in twenty-one last season. Jordan Davies was one in three last year and is better than goal-a-game this year. Damian Ketley is making a difference too (athough he's been out the last fortnight) as the bloke doing the target/hold-up job. The back four looks stable and they can switch in and out as well - Hayesy has been missing for weeks and I never thought they'd be able to get by without him as it usually meant Michael Parker moved back and we lost weight in midfield. Now we have Myles Hart and Reece Fairhurst pairing well, Paul O'Neill in rotation as well, Tom Kemp has made right back his own and Jacko is still Jacko. Steady, Parker and Edwards are as good a middle three as we've had in a long time. Alec Williams can do a job anywhere, as can Ben Maher, and we used to look a far weaker side when Conor Shackleton wasn't there and at the minute, he simply can't get in. And there's more...

Squad looked bare bones thin at one time not too far back. Now, we have options.

It was the Holywell return today.  The two most parsimonious defences in the division would lock horns with Europe's most potent attacking force (I kid you not - in terms of goals per game we went past TNS at the top last outing, there's a Twitter legend on the Seasiders' page pointing it out) in the leagues of a standing high enough to be counted and the nominally least potent force in the division.

Read it back, it's unwieldy but it makes sense.  Holywell are a tough side, well drilled at the back and don't knock over easily.  Kirkby car-robbing cunt Lee Healey may have been moved on again, it isn't clear, but he wasn't in attendance today.  Which might be a good thing, as you'll see.

We were there early, having watched my boy in schools' footie in Chester this morning, had a potter around the town as a full family for once.  The dog, on its first visit to Wales, had a piss outside Tesco and then decided it was an ideal place to lay a cable as well.  Given the number of times I've used the services there, she was in good company and we were prepared with baggies and so forth, it was all good.  My other half was going to walk towards Rhyl with the dog, have a bit of a beach stroll and so forth, but when the fine, mizzly rain started to fall she had to turn back although they had gone quite a way.  Four hours parking at the Nova is a pound, which is phenomenal, and no curry but the gravy was bang on - the young 'uns were on again and having fun with the job while also making you feel old, young and a dirty old man all at the same time.

The game?  Well the pitch now fortunately will get a rest for a bit - next home game is Feb 7 - as it's beginning to look a bit tired and will impact on the way we play.  The first half today was a real toe-to-toe effort, not a fistfight but neither side was taking any prisoners and it was the dictionary definition of frenetic.  There's needle in these close derbies and it started before the off where, for the first time I can recall, Town had to kick into Pontins in the first half.  There's a declaration of intent to unsettle for you.  Did it?  Well, seven minutes in, Carl Jones once again illustrated how unusual he is as a keeper by getting himself yet another yellow card as he dragged down a bloke through on goal.  Cue Holywell fans behind us not being up with the new guidelines of "yellow, max" for a last man possible DOGSO.  They were still grumbling when he stepped up and Carl went to his right and saved - I think that might be five he's saved this season including two earlies in the both Holywell games.  Mercurial genius or certified crazy?  It's hard to call, maybe a bit of both but he has a habit of skinning strikers inside his own box and has a very relaxed view to pushing the ball around that does your nerves no good.  He also has an increasing stack of yellows.

So we stayed at 0-0 and we got on top as the half wore on, had one stopped on the line where one half of the ground thought it was over the line, the other half (I was in this camp, twelve feet away from it) thought it didn't but the handball by the full back was so blatantly clear that he had the lace out of it and was picking the stitching and the ref, torn between both, decided to just give a fucking corner.  Nevertheless, Holywell kept it closed down and with the mizzle, the unpredictable bounce and their doughty efforts, they were holding out.  The last couple of minutes in the half and the injury time were spent with Town all but camped inside the Holywell 18 with free kicks (Steady went close), long throws and corners aplenty.  One such was right at the end on injury time where the ball went behind the goal for another corner.  Some fat fucker, mindful of the clock, bowled the ball 35 yards to the flag to get the corner taken while one of the Holywell staff who was there asked for the ball, clearly to hold it up.  Hilarious, and more so when Steady took the corner, planted it on a fast-arriving Jacko's head and in it went off the underside of the bar.  The fat fucker tried to claim the assist.  And I know, because I am that fat fucker.  It's nice to know my keeper's distribution is still intact after many years fallow.

They kicked off, the ref blew for half time.  Brilliant.

The second half went off something similar - Town could have gone further in front with a bit of the rub but for the first fifteen, no-one had put the game to bed and it was still a bruising effort, cards were flowing on both sides but more for the Wellmen than the Seasiders.  On the hour, Carlo bowls one out to Myles Hart, the unsung hero at centre back this season.  He sidesteps inside the bloke closing him down who commits at that instant and goes right through him.  Mistimed, reckless and fucking awful to watch, fortunately nothing broken, no harm done but as straight a red as you can see.  Play restarts, ball is knocked down to Noah 30 yards out who takes a touch, lets the ball drop on the half volley and then hits it like a fucking shell.  It travels without bouncing no higher than six inches above the turf from boot to back of the net, absolutely spellbinding stuff and a collective sigh of relief that with a half hour to go, we'll close this down now we're two ahead.

By the 70th minute, we'd doubled it.  It seems the sending off and Noah's slice of fried gold set everyone alight and the pitted pitch had become not unlike carpet.  It was like we had three men over and the tightest defence bar one in the division was being overrun like a sugar-dusted cream cake shaped like a pair of insect boobs in a stag party in an ants' nest.  Jack Kenny got past the last man as he so often does, drew the keeper, made a feint and slotted past him while he was on his arse with little he could do about it other than be philosophical.  3-0.  Then another six or seven man move ended with a cross to Jordan who simply guided a looping header over the surrounding heads into the corner.  4-0.  These were but two moves in a spell where it was like a wrestling bout where the tag team holds a bloke up to pretend to punch fuck out of him, except we were genuinely punching fuck out of them.  Ten minutes from time, another slick move ended with Steady notching from six or seven yards where the bloke who'd tried to stop the corner earlier was now behind the other end and tried to claim an offside that simply wasn't.  Gibbo took three off, put three on with six minutes to go and Alec Williams, on coming on, managed to get on the sheet himself after just three of them.  6-0 and we were fucking imperious.

And that was all we could manage...  That's what you get for making us swap ends.  Caernarfon won 5-2, so still nine points but the impossible goal difference looks even more so now.  And the next two weeks are away at bottom and second bottom.

Fantastic stuff Bert.....I love reading it.

Lee Healey turned up at Aberystwyth on New Year's Day.

It's not nown if he's signed for them or just robbed someone's BMW at an NYE party and drove it there via a grit, phone and pillar box for a laugh.

Fuck me, Tone, I do a gag about Lee Healey and he overtrumps me.

He signed for Aberystwyth as soon as the window allowed it; he was on the bench and came on against Cefn, where they lost 1-0 and are now in the bottom six playoffs; and after the game, Merseyside Police arrested him for being in breach of a restraining order and it seems he's now serving twelve weeks in nick.  He was subject to two suspended sentences on arrest - one for the Newtown car theft and the other for breaching the order that preceded (and so led to) the restraining order.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/liverpool-footballer-arrested-new-club-12428098

Aberystwyth have all but said "fuck him" as he is non-contract and he can't go to another Welsh side this season as he's been at two and that's your lot under FAW rules.

The second half at Conwy started five minutes ago.  Caernarfon have given us a chance to go eleven clear after drawing with Denbigh last night.

HT - Conwy 0, PTFC Seasiders 5 (Maher 3, Lewis, Davies)



Edit: 1-7 after an hour

Edit: 1-10, still playing, the ninth was the hundredth in all comps this season in the 25th game

Edit: 1-11, last kick of the game (Maher 4, Lewis, Davies 2, OG, Stead 2, Edwards)

Eleven clear, eleven to play, eleven scored. There's an elegance there we can only match on the pitch...

NotBert wrote:Fuck me, Tone, I do a gag about Lee Healey and he overtrumps me.

NotBert wrote:The second half at Conwy started five minutes ago.  Caernarfon have given us a chance to go eleven clear after drawing with Denbigh last night.

HT - Conwy 0, PTFC Seasiders 5 (Maher 3, Lewis, Davies)



Edit: 1-7 after an hour

Edit: 1-10, still playing, the ninth was the hundredth in all comps this season in the 25th game

Edit: 1-11, last kick of the game (Maher 4, Lewis, Davies 2, OG, Stead 2, Edwards)

Eleven clear, eleven to play, eleven scored.  There's an elegance there we can only match on the pitch...

Second bottom Ruthin away today, an early kick-off. A chance to go fourteen points clear and put a bit of pressure on Caernarfon to close it back to eleven.

Same side, same start, two up early, four up halfway. Ended up mirroring the reverse fixture that was first game of the season, a 7-1 win, five different scorers and 24 goals in 21 days in 2017. All in place before 2.30pm when Caernarfon were starting at Penrhyncoch. Remember that last name.

Caernarfon drew 1-1. Thirteen clear, four whole games' worth, 87 goals scored and a goal difference that despite there only being 20 games gone, is a well known sexual position. Looking at fixtures and reasonable luck and the title may be wrapped up in the first week in March. At Penrhyncoch.

Which is the outskirts of Aberystwyth. Two and a half hours drive in what is a regional league? The gods do like their little jokes. Other possibilities are a Friday night game against Denbigh (PTFC keep winning, Caernarfon drop points), a Saturday home game against Gresford or a later away game at Holyhead, Anglesey if we were to drop a few points and Caernarfon make ground. It would be nice to stick it up the pissy all-in-pink sausage who keeps goal for Hotspur, but I'd sooner have my nails. Denbigh would be wrapping it up February. That is almost as ridiculous as TNS, who probably will wrap up the WPL in February.

Great stuff Bert.

Aberystwyth away tomorrow at 1.30pm, Welsh Cup.

We're the side no-one must fancy at the minute, Chris Venables, the main outlet for goals, has left Aberystwyth for Bala and they're bottom six in the top flight this season, having conceded more than anyone other than Airbus and Rhyl. Their home form is shocking (3-1-7) and they've lost thirteen from twenty-two overall so far.

We're freely available at 3/1. I think that's huge.

I shall be on.

Winning 1-4 after an hour. If it stays like that, all four bets of mine land (correct score, 90 mins, Town -1, Town -2)

"A decent drink" for the price of an interest bet...

WE COULD WIN THIS CUP. Seriously, no-one's saying it but this side has got chops.

Ends up 1-5, never in danger, led from inside 20, two up halfway and gave one back on the hour at 0-4.

Still get a decent drink out of it (pennies at 95s for the correct score) and if I had to give it up for a fifth, it was for Steady to complete a hat-trick. Sgorio a must-watch, I fancy

Fuck me Bert.....winners that price are hard to find in football....Well done.
I fucking forgot to back them.

NOOOO!

Tone, I'd have had it as a toss-up on bare bones table viewing, but in 2017 we're frequently better than a goal a day (29 in January) and for that, and knowing how Aber are, I'd have had us as slight favourites although you're never certain how Alliance form will translate.  The 5pm game was Caernarfon v Rhyl and on the book, I'd have been on Caernarfon - they stuck 7 past Cefn late last season at Cefn and the Ancients went up and are in a relegation dogfight, so not wonderful but at least in and pitching.  Caernarfon are a lot better than that.  They led twice, were pegged back twice and won in extra time, so I saved my money, but there are a handful of sides who are clearly WPL-competitive.

3/1 looked huge value even on the above, but I fancied Town by 3 - insane, did I have fan bias?  Just because I fancied they'd be up for another high tempo show and take the game to them, doesn't mean they'll stick one on them good and proper.  However, if they did, I wanted a couple of trays of curry and chips out of it and wouldn't complain if I didn't get them.  So I won over ninety and look like Cassandra for both handicap bets and nearly nicking the correct score as well.

The point of the Alliance form is that the last eight has four WPL sides and four Alliance sides.  Llanfair did for Cefn and Guilsfield saw off Cardiff Met - with us and Caernarfon, that's a cracking show (big day in Llanfair's history - look back on these pages, that's the small stand, narrow field village team I went to last year and posted photos).  And we're skating up in this league  

The draw was last night after the Caernarfon game.  We drew Connahs Quay at home (repeat of last year's 3rd round when Nomads put us out).  Given they're likely to be a solid second to the runaway TNS in the WPL, this is harder again.  Last week of February, so the title might be in endgame for us by then but realistically, we shouldn't have won it yet.

Llanfair play Caernarfon
Guilsfield play Bala
TNS play Bangor

There could be three Alliance sides in the last four the way that draw has panned out  

Mold Alex at home.  Earlier in the season, we were 4-0 up there when the floodlights went out for the second time and couldn't be revived; the game was played again and Jack Kenny scored 6 in a 10-2 win in the run-up to the taxman business.  Irrespective of the occasional twattery of fans, the clubs look out for each other - Mold gave 50 tickets to Town, no strings, to sell as part of the fundraiser.  Their average gate is under 150.

We got there late, missed the first twenty minutes and Ben Maher's opener.  Chips and gravy were so good (me and daughter went for both) that as we were sat level with the edge of the box, Jacko came over to take a long throw and opined that they "smell lovely".  He'd launched before we could offer...  Steady was missing because of injury and awareness of scuppering my correct score last week... and Mold came with one plan - damage limitation and Route One.  The pitch was sticky and close control wasn't easy for us and Mold were willing to break up play by giving no end of free kicks and corners.  Result?  We were camped out in their half but were forced to try and unpark the bus, best part of 80% possession.  Mold, as a result, had three attempts on goal in the ninety.  They scored two of them.

You know what comes next then.  Unbeaten record gone, gap closed by chasers and so on.  Well, no.  Jacko scored from a corner, Michael Parker did the same and Ben Maher slotted late on after sterling work by an ever-dangerous Jack Kenny.  Jacko on another day could have had a hat-trick from corners and there were some desperate "take a bullet for the president" dives to keep it down.  At 2-1 just after half time, it looked comfy but at the same time, when it goes 3-2 when they string a move together with ten to go, you get antsy.

Half time was important, however, because we heard from the rounds that Caernarfon were 2-0 down, with a keeper sent off, and Flint were winning 1-0 at Ruthin and would level for second if it stayed like that.  Nominally, even though we were level, we were a further point clear.  Never stayed like that though as we won 4-2, the Cofis lost 3-1 and Flint, with a look of murderous glee in their eyes, entirely shit it and lost 2-1.  We're sixteen clear with nine to play.

We won ugly, I'd say, but we were entirely dominant.  A Molder? Moldist? Moldovan? fan walked past us as the last went in as he made his way to the door and grumbled "lucky".  Like the Holywell game, where we were called "cheats" for scoring six this week we were lucky for having the ball all fucking game.

This week was like a clips show - we expected to win and did - and if we're going to not fire on all cylinders, it's nice to do it and still win.  Onward and upward.  I had a Big Tasty in Flint as I fancied something on McD's menu for once.  Daughter had her McD usual (which demainds a fresh order - shrewd).  My brother waited outside and had nothing as a result of picking a fight with a gang of twelve-year-olds in the car park, the mad fucker.

Today was an odd one. Caersws at home, a side with whom we drew one game 5-5 last season, who were the team who dumped us out of the Welsh Cup as the first hurdle as holders (both centre backs and centre forward saw red) and who've flirted with the top three on occasion this season.

Went tunnel and A550 for a change which proved to be fatal. We were late off anyway but became later as they've dug up the A550. I know the M53 was closed yesterday as well after a mysterious dead body on the central reservation which suggests travel advice for anyone travelling to the Wirral from North Wales yesterday and vice versa was "stay at home, watch a box set or something". We got there at around forty minutes in and Town were one up through either Ben Maher or an OG, it still isn't clear.

I was a little off and found myself having to queue for the one cubicle in the clubhouse and hoping not to shit myself while I waited for a bloke to complete what I can only decribe as the longest piss in the world. Suggest he has his prostate fingered, he must have the flow of a sauce bottle. Anyway, naturally while waiting, Steady, returned and skipper ( ) scores a 35-yard free kick. Pissman says "fuck me, every time I'm in here this happens". We've scored 125 goals in all competitions this season - really, pal, go the doctor. My reply of course was "suggest you stay in there, then".

So half time, 2-0 and the side has an unusual look about it. Still no Hayesy (and still not fit as he was in civvies again), but also no Parker either - and he has been a colossus this season. Connor Shackleton deputises, and Shacks is no slouch so no biggie. Top scorer Jordan is on the bench nd Alec Williams deputises - again, decent cover for the role. At the same time, though, we've lost three mainstays. The ground seems a bit flat, tbh, the game isn't sparking and it doesn't flow as it has - Noah is on the left in front of Jacko and that's allowing the latter to overlap effectively but if I were to say anything, we looked a bit tired/flat. I did get a hoodie for a tenner mind (red one to go with the blue) and copies of the '76 and '77 Playfair cricket annuals for 50p each, so at least my sharpshooting eyes were open...

Anyway, Caersws pull one back as we get a bit casual/slapdash at the back, then they have a bloke sent off for seemingly punching fuck out of someone warming up on the touchline. Despite the extra man, we fart about a bit more, give away a stupid corner that becomes a second corner and they put that in. 2-2. We snap back into focus but cannot make it count and late on Caersws all but score twice but for last ditch stops. Myles does a knee late on which is a huge loss and Paul O gets the last ten. The ref decides to play about a half hour of injury time and we're still playing at 4.35 for a 2.30 kick off. People have missed trains and everything. And yes, two minutes into that injury time, no. 9 works his way free on the right of the box, gets to the byeline, pulls it back and the well-advanced full back gets a solid finish on it and wins it with a well-worked strike. Well done Jack Kenny in setting it up and Jacko in slotting goes nuts and straight to the faithful, ten yards away. My lad runs round to get in on it and 3-2, we've won ugly again but a win it is. Cofis had struggled as well but won 3-2 and Flint won again so the gap stays at 16 with 8 to play and an outside chance that we could still nick it in February, results permitting.

Chips were OK, gravy was thin but our fault, entirely down to our late arrival and we went to SubWay after. Like me, Town were a little bit off today. No Hayesy and no Parker, well, you can count that set of circumstances in the last decade on the fingers of one hand, probably, and we still beat one of the division's harder sides. Wins a win. Myles looks as if he's copped a bad one, though, and he and Reece have put together a tidy partnership in Hayesy's absence. Porthmadog next week as well, and they're no cakewalk.

Meanwhile, our unbeaten record is now the only one in the upper Welsh pyramid - Carmarthen did for TNS on a day where they could have gone 24 clear with eight to play.

then they have a bloke sent off for seemingly punching fuck out of someone warming up on the touchline


Superb stuff Bert.

It's a numbers game today.  Distracted by a potential identity hijack which turned out (when I got to scrutinise it) to be a standard spoof attempt.  Town were in Porthmadog, one of the hardest games remaining (Flint in that number too - hard, Flint, unintentional).

Banana skin avoided, 3-1 win with goals from Steady, Ben Maher and the fantastically-named Jack Higgins off the bench.  Cofis won 2-0 so we shouldn't but could still win the league this month.  And the Cup next week is live on S4C at 5.15pm.  I think I'll be going on the ordinary...

Sixteen clear, seven to play, Denbigh at home on the 28th and we can now win the league in February only if the Cofis lose in the Wednesday night game at Conwy (which really they shouldn't)

Big one Saturday. On the ordinary, biggest test of the season so far and we're bigger than 3s. Not as easy a fixture as Aber was but I think threes is still big.