November

Admin wrote:

Nobby Cheese wrote:I would love to live forever.

Tone, what did I say in the title?

missyj wrote:

NotBert wrote:

missyj wrote:I saw Stephen fry say the first person to live to 1000 has already been born. I'm not sure we have a 1000 years left the way we are carrying on. Who would want that?  

Can't be right.  No-one has got past 122 yet, that was twenty years ago and even then she was all but blind and deaf.  Expectancy might be going up 3 months a year but there's clearly a fairly finite ceiling - the body atrophies, it ages and it would be a massive stretch to double the maximum let alone multiply it by eight.

maybe its half machine, nanobots etc, yes I watch a lot of Sci fi, I believe it though

Missed this, Jonesy. Economic factors have already stopped the increase in life expecrancy for the first time in forever. I don't doubt it will go back up again, but the grand is still several generations minimum away

Been a bit busy in the last few weeks with a bit of positive upheaval for once.

Have had to play off against the gremlins that appear when any upheaval arrives but I'm doing it pretty well. Tone?

Sill here mate....Had a laptop pack up on me and had to sort out the old windows xp job I'm on now.
Fucking nightmare.....lost a lot of stuff.

Chickenpox has ravaged me for 31 days now....I have been left with blisters that are peeling off and leaving me with skin that looks like it's been cheese grated .....I feel like shit.

Jesus, Tone, a month? I hope they weren't like, you know, everywhere. We all like scratching it but that's on our terms...

Meat and two veg took a hideous pasting.....Words cannot convey the itching.
Nice when the wife offered to scratch them for me though when I was exhausted.

"Oh, I'm so tired and they're sooo itchy... Yes, love, that's it, that's it, that's iiiiiiiiiiiit! Just rub that in, love..."

And I'm spent.

NotBert wrote:

One for the credit column.

BP taken Wednesday. 118/72. I'm a fucking dynamo, who wants it? Quick, before I go back to sleep

Be pleased, 118/72 is the blood pressure of a 20 year old man.....I take mine very day and average out at around 120/75 thanks to medication.

I know, Tone. Stunned doesn't come into it. I used to be 130/75 like clockwork from age 25 to 40. Then diastolic started creeping up, standard in the 80s with a hint at 90.

Then I got a new job in November. The previous fucking hole gone, my days are longer but less fraught in commute and my workaday options are more. My basic underpinning has settled no end and I'm actually quite happy for once. And my BP has dropped more points than Spurs in the last couple of months

NotBert wrote:  And my BP has dropped more points than Spurs in the last couple of months

Next week
Monday - white food
Tuesday - Moviprep
Wednesday - colonoscopy
Thursday - wanking frenzy at the memory of being ass probed walking like John Wayne

Back again, it was fine, more to follow

So after a day of bland food and such on Bank Holiday Monday, Tuesday was MoviPrep.

You know how Tango tastes like chemical orange death? This makes it look like a Château Latour 2009. You pinch your nose and take big gulps. Probably tastes better coming out than going in. And it comes out soon enough. You go through the full colour chart from Tobago to Magnolia and check out with your last eatings twelve hours before your appointment and no fluids for the last two hours. It was, surprisingly, not onerous and went pretty well.

Appointment the next day involves a screen which shows the camera's location up your fundament and looks like a really lengthy game of mobile phone "Snake". Again, not onerous, jab in the back of the hand to relax and laughing gas on standby for any issues: there were none. Mind you, I did have the bonus this time of the air being pumped in and being allowed out as well. Farting blue dye has never been such a relief and I was in for about an hour, which is the lengthiest session of anal I've ever enjoyed (lost in the moment now...). As a procedure, though, seriously, it was the most innocuous version of it I've ever had. Apparently my last bit, 'the cockholder' as I've just decided to call it, is a bit narrow which suggests I wasted my time at an all boys' school.

And with that, it was over. Egg sandwich and a black coffee, debrief and home. The one remaining moment of hilarity was later on, when back on throughput, I released my first two-bobs and I momentarily panicked when it was Dulux's Baby Shit Green. Then I twigged - brown shit and blue bowel dye makes your shit a bizarre colour, and the next one still has some effect as it comes out 'Avocado Suite'. No John Wayne, no wanking frenzy.

Fucking sneak attack this last week. More later but tonight is the first night of 'no paracetamol required'

Slight bounce this week just gone, back up post-jab. Don't you fucking dare prep me for November

November came early. Have had an absolute stinker of a cold all week which hit its peak on Thursday night when I went for a shit and while sat on the can, wanted to hurl but couldn't, was in a progressive episode that for the first time in my life, I'd have phoned an ambulance if I'd had my phone on me. The landline would have been less than eight feet away but I was so utterly incapacitated that it wasn't an option. Waiting it out, I dragged off my t-shirt which had the effect of allowing sweat to literally run off me and puddle on the floor. The temperature reduction was enough to get me back in the room enough to resolve my lot with two paracetamol and a half hour in a dark room. Have had this before but not in years and it totally blindsided me.

Asked the boss to get me some Paramol as a result as I was going to take this down with a bit of codeine supplement and I'm getting on top of it now. Amazing how much help a single 7.46mg dose alongside the usual paracetamol gives. I was off work anyway as it's half term and as a result, I feel like the kid who breaks his leg on the first day of the summer holidays. Have had the delirious sleep, the broken sleep and today, the compensatory sleep kicked in. Looking forward to getting my legs back and seeing what 'outside' is like again.

Shouldn't be having a flu jab mate.....they're lethal.
It's why you're ill again in my opinion.
Never had one in all my 70 years and never had flu.

Haven't had it, Tone.  It's utter fucking guesswork anyway, one strand out of a possible 20+.  I always get nervous of antis whose graphics are fucking awful, though - the message loses a lot of power if you can't spell 'leukaemia', 'stabilising' and oh my stars, 'dementia'.

ALUMINIUM, ffs, goddamn Yankees