How are you guys ?

That's a cracking option, to sell your own stuff and work a few hours for pin money. I used to work with a cartoonist/scriptwriter who did that to the point that he went full time and dopped the desk job when his stuff got picked up (he does a fair bit of kids' tv writing as well as his own vanity projects)

Hope Poland stays fine for you, the last couple of weeks have been an utter fuckup and no-one knows wtf is going on

Well the morrisons money is guaranteed , with art you just never know ,he ain't banksy ,sods law the week he got the job at morrisons he also got three commissions so has been flat out but cant complain really ,your mate anything I might of seen ?
I assume you were referring to my pending Poland trip there and not your personal life

The utter fuckup is the government sending kids in to come home and infect the parents while everyone else can meet as a maximum of six unless they're all wearing sports kit. Poland sounds great, it's not here

Commission work meanwhile is bigger picture stuff - peaks and troughs but it's the end of year reckoning. If he's established a base figure, everything else is gravy. The bloke I used to work with, yes, you'd have seen his work... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Carney. I also went to school with this guy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Harvey_(playwright) who is frankly a lovely bloke. I take credit for neither of their works but they both started off in one place and ended up very much in demand and en vogue

Hi bert are you a scouser?
What do you think is the best way to deal with the covid then ? Talking of which I timed that trip just right! Warsaw was lovely 26degrees every day , spent the time walking and sitting in beautiful parks , had some nice food and beer The only minor bad thing that happened was I got bitten to death one day by mosquitos i think.

On the home front daughter has moved out to live with a friend , glad shes showing some independence but she doesn't have much idea of the cost of bills esp energy so I expect I might have to help there until she gets the hang of it .
Hope you guys are all well

I couldn't get on the site this morning for a moment I thought the place had been deleted

missyj wrote:Hi bert are you a scouser?
What do you think is the best way to deal with the covid then ? Talking of which I timed that trip just right! Warsaw was lovely 26degrees every day , spent the time walking and sitting in beautiful parks , had some nice food and beer The only minor bad thing that happened was I got bitten to death one day by mosquitos i think.

On the home front daughter has moved out to live with a friend , glad shes showing some independence but she doesn't have much idea of the cost of bills esp energy so I expect I might have to help there until she gets the hang of it .
Hope you guys are all well

Fuck me, Jonesy, how could you not know where I'm from?

Currently at Mum's as she's recuperating post-operative so we're one family over two houses and I've managed to trap a fucking nerve in my neck while here.  City's about to be sealed by the army and the Prime Minister's a fucking cunt who we'd all queue up to punch.  I don't like to make it easy.  I'm managing the neck and doing what I need to, mind, so we're not double-patiented, but it's hard.  Apparently a good cure is a naked woman carrying out a full body-to-body massage on you while giving your tensed nerve a rub specifically.  I keep telling people that but they don't believe me, even less so when I tell them that the tensed nerve actually runs from the penile area.  I've lost weight and look ace in a mask, but even the sexy highwayman fantasy isn't working, and I'm ready to stand and deliver.

That's far too much work for a punchline but this is the most I've been able to type in a week, so indulge me.  Or dress up as a highwayman, I think that's both quite funny now I've thought about it and got to admit, little bit turned on    

Good news about your daughter, meanwhile.  I hope she makes a fist of it, you both deserve a good run and there enough general shit going on without more specific stuff getting in the fucking way.  Poland sounded ace, mosquitos notwithstanding



NOT ME

omg bert you really made me laugh there , shame it's just a house of one
Sorry to hear about you and your mums health problems hopefully you'll both be better soon
Personally I don't believe in the lockdowns, it's too much
Just wear the masks and crack on
Found out my local cinema has shut which has pissed me off no end , it only just reopened .I guess there's fuck all to show maybe someone could do a reboot of Dick Turpin

If you reboot Dick Turpin you get Turnip Dick.

Sounds nasty.

Lockdowns are an admission of fuckup. I was shielded for ten weeks at the start and I took that medicine. That it was all for nothing is a fucking disgrace, especially as it was stuff that was pre-known and avoidable, such as students being catapulted back into close residential areas (not Halls, more about the private houses) in house shares. That's why Liverpool is as it is, big university city, one side blocked by a river, Victorian big shared houses and huge communal shopping in smallish shops in those areas. You might as well just inject us all with it.

Losing the flicks is annoying. My lad in particular has had it as an outlet in GCSE year where he could meet his more distant mates and now the cricket season's over, he's getting more and more locked in. We've fell upon something for him, lucky enough, but not everyone will have that opportunity and it will literally drive people nuts - you need outlets.

Wear your mask by all means but don't leave your crack on.

Tone sent me a PM on April 1, Jonesy, and I'd not seen the notification until tonight (it's an email account I rarely used attached to the old TV package) but I think that's when he went. If he deactivated of course then the PM disappears as well. Hope he's ok

Oh did he , yeah I hope hes ok too
Things have gone well and truly fucking shit shaped here
Mum was ill for weeks with a cough and breathlessness and being tough as old boots she wouldn't visit the drs and insisted it was just a cold or at the worst regular flu
Eventually she called them they ruled out the covid over the phone , gave her a course of antibiotics anyrate they didn't work so then she had xray ,that's where they found a mass and sent her for a scan so shes now waiting for an appointment to talk to the experts but over the phone he told her there was a lot to be concerned about which she has decided means basically you're fucked!

Shes not taking it very well understandably I suppose  , shes got angry (not used to that emotion from her ) I dont know what to do apart from offer basic advice like think positive, keep eating etc so I feel fucking useless
Least I'm working a little less with this stay in crap
Hope you and yours are all well
I guess  lockdowns are just to help stop the bodies piling up so much bert  ,

That sounds horrible, Jonesy. I had a mate earlier this year who'd gone from investigating backache through headaches to aggressive brain cancer in a matter of weeks, not yet 55 and ended up in a deathbed marriage. The more general illness becomes ruthless when everything is stretched as it is now and you just want the world to take a fucking day off. I hope you're all as well as can be given the circumstances.

Lockdown is another admission of failure by doing it too fucking late again and we're through to Spring again now by the looks of it. It'll be a hard winter

I dont think it makes much difference tbh not like it's going anywhere, might get us all sooner or later the infection I mean not death , well that too obviously but you know what I mean
Mum has a couple of appointments for next week one for a covid test one to have a lung procedure so I'm trying to pretend it's not happening for a bit , sorry to hear about your friend , far too young saying that must be awful for kids and teens and to be so brave
Right off to morrisons in a bit .what anything ? I cant look at the turnips lol

Well my elderly neighbour who I shop for had today for the first time turnips on his list so not only did I have to look I had to touch too
81p for two small ones he wont be pleased about that

Were the two turnips you touched small but perfectly formed? We've danced this dance before, Jonesy, pics or GTFO...

Haha we sure have
How are you ? My mum is , well to put it frankly fucked
She has lots of cancer and has three months without treatment maybe a year with chemo trouble is shes lost a lot of weight and has fluid (a litre) on each lung , we called an ambulance earlier because she just couldn't move or speak she was so breathless the fluid needs to go now
Obviously no one can go with her
She said shes ok with dying just scared of the journey

Got a pic for you .I saw this and you sprang to mind

You know how to get me going, Jonesy. I take my hat off to the dress-up. And I'd put it on the floor next to the rest of my clothes

Removing her clothes looks like it would be a workout in itself
What tier are you in ? More work for me now sick of customers

2 and falling, the reward for being the guinea pigs.

At least I'm out of shielding again

Mum died today but I'm ok so far , she was suffering so much till she got to the hospice from the hospital three days ago , the hospice gave her quite a bit of morphine she was asleep the last two days
Hope your mums ok x

Jonesy, I'm so sorry. It's practically eight years to the minute that my old man died and it doesn't get easier, just more distant. Mum's been up and down but is home after a couple of weeks of rebalancing and I may just about have my head out from up my arse

I'm not too bad tbh , I miss our every other day phone calls she was a funny woman and my best friend .She was always leaving stuff on my doorstep , car boot booty or the odd chicken that was going cheap , my other half always used to moan about that ( your mums left more junk!) If only that was the case now

Has your mum had a jab?

Jesus, this last couple of months have really pulled on me. Do you know anyone who isn't a landlord who has ever had to deal with two different ceiling breaches (water leaks) in two different houses at the same time. Me. Right now. That's just the latest instalment.

I got my jab first, Jonesy, Mum got hers after but could have had it before but isn't mobile enough, whereas I could go out for mine. Beginning to struggle a bit mentally but can see it's there and so am still on top of it. Have managed to get home a bit more and even walk the dog once or twice at home and once here (walked her full length of my primary school commute and then some one day - an away trip for both of us, school was burnt down fifteen years ago as well).

This fucking summer had best play up.

When I first moved into this house I live in there was a leak coming through a kitchen light of course the seller never told us and had just fucking masticed ( so lol ) around it
Anyrate do you think we could find out where it was coming from ??? Took ages eventually after yet another hose test we figured out it was the bedroom window , over a grand to replace but was worth it to stop scratching my head .. I do hate leaks they used to make me anxious, silly I know

Daughter has had her jab something to do with mental vulnerability , me no idea .Cant wait for this shit to be over I look like pepe le pew
Blimey and I thought I hated school

Still kicking, Jonesy. More to come...