Re: The greatest goal ever scored (very funny)

Guest Sat May 15, 2010 11:17 pm

You can't blame him, he's in Argentina and he's expecting the drayman today. And he's low on mixers too. Not sure if he's paid the crisp bill either, come to think of it

lol!

Guest Sat May 15, 2010 11:54 pm

Guest Sun May 16, 2010 12:09 am

Fucking pure genius Bert!
My sides are splitting here.

lol!

Guest Sun May 16, 2010 12:11 am

A fluke? Fuck off, says the Ewok and 'megs the next bloke too.

lol!

Guest Sun May 16, 2010 12:16 am

The thing is, if you watch the goal with the commentary above, Tony, it works. Laughing

I had to check it out myself because I knew he beat the three he did but I remember a Scot being in the way and getting out of it sharpish. Surprised to see it was God.

Guest Sun May 16, 2010 12:35 am

Nobby Cheese wrote:and on one memorable occasion, a right cross that broke the jaw of Chewbacca who was playing up front for Bucharest Secret Police.

Cubillas had a free kick at the edge of the box. He twatted it round the wall and at that point Alan Rough had an epiphany and decided to retire and open a pub called the Palm Inn

I was at the game he broke that bloke's jaw. Fucking bedlam, but his efforts were so pinpoint economical and his timing so perfect that you thought Craig Johnston had in fact butted him.

Guest Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:43 am

Guest Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:12 pm

Guest Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:39 pm

Bert wrote:ARIE HAAN v ITALY, 1978

Having seen off the Scots by losing 3-2 because the Scots put in stellar performances against Cuzco Wanderers and the Tehran Fire Brigade Seconds, the second group stage was equally eventful.

It's the last game of the group and the Italians, dull fucking shit cunts as they are, need a draw only against the Dutch to get to the final. In two group games, they've spent 90 minutes showing the world just how fucking dull European football is by drawing 0-0 with their WW2 allies, West Germany, and taking a single goal out of the rest of the Anschluss. What did it all mean? Well, a win for Italy would put them in the final. A draw, they either go home or make the 3rd/4th final

Guest Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:41 pm

Had to shut down, Tone, so saved at that point. In for the edit in a mo

Guest Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:11 am

Reading back over this stuff has reminded me of the sheer class of your football humour Bert.
This material deserves a huge audience.
The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) - Page 2 380407

The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) - Page 2 380407

Guest Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:23 am

And we're back...

Guest Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:27 pm

All is fine in Dino's world - hair is sprayed on stiffer than Leslie Crowther's, he has a side in front of him playing 9-1-0 and he's swapped his gloves with his old pal OJ Simpson.

lol!

Guest Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:08 pm

Guest Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:46 pm

Absolutely fucking majestic writing Bert!

lol!

Guest Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:53 pm

Getting the video, some meanspirited fucker has put up that it hit two Italian defenders.

The response should be "fuck off, you don't hit Italian defenders, you make them put their hands up and say 'I surrender and I'm on your side. For now'."

Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:33 am

Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:45 am

Fucking classic Bert!!
The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) - Page 2 189864

Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:46 am

They managed to get Zaire, a country which no longer fucking exists and is unclear whether it ever existed, not unlike at least one of the Germanys in der historybooken of der winnerschaft, to qualify despite the fact that they couldn't provide a kit and turned out in eleven sets of aged 5 Ben10 pyjamas. They got Haiti to qualify by having the CONCACAF qualification tournament held in the Haitian FA chairman's shed in Port-au-Prince.

lol!

Guest Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:35 am

"Ladies and gentlemen, the next train to depart from Platform Two is the 70s special to Brooking, stopping at Porterfield and Stokes.

"Station announcement. Would Mr Alan Taylor please leave Platform 2. Stationmasters Moore and Mullery have advised that you are not welcome on this journey."

Guest Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:41 am

Guest Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:14 am

Guest Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:03 am

"Ozzy can see that the towels are coming off the pumps down the Kings Road in about twenty and he'll be fucking off whether the game is over or not"

"Peter Rodrigues became the only club captain to this day to lift the FA Cup with a St Johns blanket over him and taking oxygen"

Cheers Bert, just spat tea all over me fucking laptop!!

lol!

Guest Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:08 am

Allowing them on the same pitch was billed as the equivalent of putting a mild-mannered accountant convicted of tax fraud in a cell with a one-eared man named Turk who was eight years into a minimum fifteen stretch for killing a milkman and shagging his horse up the shitter
Ninety minutes later, however, it would be the bookkeeper who would turn out to be Superman who would be astride Turk, making double entry and shouting "suffer baby, suffer" in the biggest shock ever seen until that fucking pile of shit dating show with the bloke out of Phoenix Nights who does the Victor Chandler adverts was commissioned for a second series

The greatest goal ever scored (very funny) - Page 2 189864

bitofatwat Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:21 am

Fucking quality thread this.... lol!

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