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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 9:28 pm

anyone wanna call me? or i call you? Neutral
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 9:35 pm

i didnt buy beer today, i`m sober, just need to chat :'(
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 9:51 pm

I'm sober as well she and very bored.
Been on call from 4.30 and nothing.Just sitting here waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 9:57 pm

Staggy wrote:I'm sober as well she and very bored.
Been on call from 4.30 and nothing.Just sitting here waiting for the bloody phone to ring.
shit innit? not good being on call but i spose it pays the bills Neutral
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 10:00 pm

It's brilliant money when you get called out but shit when you dont.
If i dont go out tonight i get 20 pound before tax for sitting by the phone all night doing fuck all.
But a good night on call can net me nearly 300 quid.


What you up to in general she?
I just seem to work and work.

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:11 pm

Staggy wrote:It's brilliant money when you get called out but shit when you dont.
If i dont go out tonight i get 20 pound before tax for sitting by the phone all night doing fuck all.
But a good night on call can net me nearly 300 quid.


What you up to in general she?
I just seem to work and work.
it can be shit true

i`m not upto much, having a shit night tonight tbh, was hoping for a chat to clear my head but seems i`m gonna pay loads of friggin money for 3 answering machine messages to uk, aw well such is life Neutral
i`ll be ok, was just chatting to vons and made me think about a load of stuff, although she asked a lot about her dad, and that always cheers me up as he was my best friend for the last 7 years of his life...i still feel sad...but happy at the same time....not easy to explain Neutral

Smile
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 10:18 pm

When i lst my mum i went through hell.
It will be 20 years ago in october.The week before my mum my grandad died the week after my first wife lost a baby and then my marriage ended.
Lost my business and within a year i went from living a happy comfortable life to having fuck all and living with my dad.

I got on the piss like you cant imagine but it wasnt until i stopped drinking that i really started greaving for her.
It will get better she but it takes a bloody long time.
Best just to focus on the simple things in life that often are the most pleasurable.

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:18 pm

wish i`d gone and bought some beer earlier now Rolling Eyes
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 10:21 pm

Worst time to drink is when you are down.
Have a coffee and an early night.

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:24 pm

Staggy wrote:When i lst my mum i went through hell.
It will be 20 years ago in october.The week before my mum my grandad died the week after my first wife lost a baby and then my marriage ended.
Lost my business and within a year i went from living a happy comfortable life to having fuck all and living with my dad.

I got on the piss like you cant imagine but it wasnt until i stopped drinking that i really started greaving for her.
It will get better she but it takes a bloody long time.
Best just to focus on the simple things in life that often are the most pleasurable.
life scares me...i`ve lost my best friend and my mum within 2 and 1/2 years Sad
i dont speak dutch, i have no friends (because i dont speak dutch)...i have one friend here...she`s italian...although she has lived here since she was 1yr old so only speaks dutch....she doesnt speak any english...but we sort of understand eachother most of the time...even she doesnt visit much though...even though she drives and i dont (we live about 4km apart) Sad
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:26 pm

Staggy wrote:Worst time to drink is when you are down.
Have a coffee and an early night.
dont worry, i have no beer, i live in a small village so no hope in hell of buying any tonight...i`m on the strong stuff....tea Smile
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 10:29 pm

Surely your family could arrange for you to come back she.
Why did you go out there in the first place?



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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:42 pm

Staggy wrote:Surely your family could arrange for you to come back she.
Why did you go out there in the first place?


you`re joking right? i`ve been here 9 yrs and i`ve had no visitors...i dont care anymore! they can keep their excuses, and why they havent visited.
i have no lifelines in the uk anymore, my only 2 lifelines have gone (kev and my mum) so whatever i decide to do in future now is upto me...maybe i should just come over and say to the council "gimme a house''...i mean...i`m british ffs, i aint foreign afterall Neutral

i came out here to be with my sons dad, but we had nothing in common at all, took me 7 yrs to realise it though Rolling Eyes
he doesnt drink, doesnt smoke, gives me shit advice about the things i love...no idea why i stayed tbh but now it seems like i`m stuck here

no offence to him, he`s a good lad really, just nothing like me tbh...i`m a giver not a taker...

i`ll be ok, gonna get myself sorted and start my dutch lessons again and go on a photography course...but it may take a bit of time thats all
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Post  Guest Tue May 17, 2011 10:47 pm

Good luck she and i really hope things work out for you.

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:48 pm

Staggy wrote:Good luck she and i really hope things work out for you.
thanks staggy, i`m sure they will, just need the confidence to go for it....getting there! Smile
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 10:52 pm

will play sad songs that make me cry before bed, let it all out, and ill be ok in the morning Smile
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Post  Admin Tue May 17, 2011 10:58 pm

she wrote:will play sad songs that make me cry before bed, let it all out, and ill be ok in the morning Smile



Last edited by Admin on Tue May 17, 2011 11:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:00 pm

the song i had played at my mums funeral...

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:04 pm

the song i had played at my best friends funeral (kev)...

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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:08 pm

i find it difficult to forgive kevs family, even though i love them...does that make me a bad person?
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:13 pm

playing your song now boat x
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Post  Admin Tue May 17, 2011 11:13 pm

she wrote:the song i had played at my mums funeral...


Beautiful song she cheers

this wont embed

https://youtu.be/dkivthzN49I
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Post  Admin Tue May 17, 2011 11:14 pm

she wrote:i find it difficult to forgive kevs family, even though i love them...does that make me a bad person?

Not at all
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:17 pm

Admin wrote:
she wrote:i find it difficult to forgive kevs family, even though i love them...does that make me a bad person?

Not at all
boat, they didnt even acknowledge siobhan at his funeral ffs, i dont know if i can forgive that, but i still love them Sad

thats a beautiful song btw x
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Post  she Tue May 17, 2011 11:21 pm

this is the version i had played at his funeral, although it wasnt my first choice...they wouldnt play my first choice and i understand it tbh (was kevs song) will play it in a min xxx
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