IMF says no changes are needed to UK economic policy

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) has concluded that no changes are needed to UK economic policy. It said weak economic growth and rising inflation had been "unexpected", but said that was because they were "clueless cunts".

It pointed to rising commodity prices and the increase in VAT as temporary problems for inflation and it's annual report warned that "there are significant risks to inflation, growth and unemployment", which may need a policy response once the shit hits the fans again.

Policies suggested included expanding the Bank of England's programme of asset purchases or having a temporary tax cut, but recommending not implementing any tax cuts until Abdul has got his pay-off to ensure the government shaft him one more time.

The IMF predicted that the UK economy would grow by 1.5% in 2011, down from its forecast of 1.7% in April and 2% in November 2010, but admitted that none of their forecasts were vaguely accurate and every six months we need to "pretend to be surprised" at the continuing and increasing recession.

At a news conference, IMF deputy director John Lipsky warned that, "uncertainty around the central forecasts remains high", as it does in many other economies. He added that "the wanker Abdul is probably legging it at just the right time".

Neither Mr Lipsky or anyone at the IMF mentioned their previous boss was a wrongun sex case and will soon be finding out what it's like to be on the receiving end of forceful cock action once the jury does their bit.

great synopsis ABKO.

once the prison guards turn out the lights and big winston starts trying to force his chopper down his throat, old dominique will probably be thinking "deja vu" or more likely, "what a fucking mistake-a to make-a"

he's french,
he might like it.

the chancellor, George "never had a proper job in my life but now I'm running the economy - fucking great eh?" Osbourne today added that not only was high street spending down again last month and that the university fees cock-up would set the tax payers back another £100 million but that last month also saw the biggest drop in manufacturing for two and a half years

in his defence the justice secretary, Ken "millionaire expenses thief" Clarke announced he would try to help in cutting prison costs by either allowing criminals to serve hardly any time at all simply by saying "it's a fair cop guv" or no time at all if agreeing to stay indoors at night - when asked to comment on this new policy of allowing criminals to offend without being properly locked up, chef Krzysztof Rusek said nothing, mainly because he was stabbed to death earlier in the week by 4 youths for £12

with the japanese economy destroyed by an earthquake and the american economy mirroring ours in more than hinting at plummetting into the double dip abyss and the Libyan conflict we shouldn't even be in now seriously financially shafting us further because we got it wrong again, the PM, David "cunt" Cameron stated that he was quite clear that he was tackling the right priorities in making sure the wanker Abdul has got the message to fuck off and save us a few quid and sorting out that fucking cat