feeling my years,and the garden shed that i never had.

laying in bed earlier,
feeling my aches,
listening to my body.
my poor,
exhausted,
tired,
derelict,
old body.
we've got quite a big garden.
an unruly,struggling to manage,
with a mind of it's own,
garden.

we have got a shed.
erected by,
to house lardthing's toys,
and a kind of play-den for him and his young friends.
and now it's a monument to,
my father in law,
my LATE father in law.
bless him.

the last time i had sex was thanks to him.
wifey came home from his funeral so distraught,
that night,
it was as if she had been served a death sentence.

and now it's crammed full to the rafters with junk.
old tat,
a couple of bikes,
an old two seater sofa,
and god knows what else.
she clings to that thing like shit to a blanket.
calls it her time-capsule.
whatever.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
nice mug of tea,
washing down a plate-ful of hotpot.
i've lied in bed since i tended my mother at 9.00.am.
it's now 5.45.pm.
and i ate as soon as i arose 45 minutes ago.

i wish i'd had a shed of my own.
might've done a few maintenance jobs,
might've at least taken care of fencing.
well?
i might've.

she said there wasn't room for two,
and anyway it wouldn't look very nice.
well,
to my mind,
I would've,could've had a play den.
my very own hidey-hole.
would probably spent many a night pissed,
in it.
and it would meant less garden to tend.
happy days.

i think i've been biten on the arse.
the little cnut.
i got a minute spot,
and it's pricking like stink.

it's so quiet at the moment.
feel like going back to bed but i mustn't.

i ought to do something about my cider habit.
it really blurs my weekend,
so why stop drinking it?


coffee.
i need coffee.

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i think i SHALL,
go and lie down.