Cup Final Tickets

So the midfield was sourced from a grand total of two wombs or three fertilizations, depending on how you want to look at it



They had to be up at 4am and pack a gross of cock balloons in case they fell upon a factory hen night after the game

Friday night, at home to Tudno's. Twat of a time to play, not the best journey to make in a car and I don't use the car any more - the reason I didn't go the Carmarthen game was some utter fucking cunt in a Mercedes decided it would be a great idea to pull out of a line of traffic and right in fucking front of me. Nowhere to go but into his side and the prophecy made real - Liverpool is an undriveable 50 square mile unplayable lie, full of roadworks and people who are too fucking stupid to drive.

So I either went by rail, running the gauntlet of the most decrepit public transport system in the Western world and probably a fair bit of the Eastern as well, or I didn't go at all. Fucking cosmic.

So I got into Prestatyn with about three quarters of an hour to go to kickoff, got a drink and went the ground. Chips and curry were possibly the best they'd ever been, genuinely, and there was a good gate (489) what with it being possibly our nearest derby of the year, depending on how you measure it and which road you take. They've struggled since hitting the ground running to be top in early exchanges, so we were looking for back-to-back premier wins for the first time since forever.

Why we're a bottom two side I don't know, because every side who come here sit back and let us dominate. And we have form for getting fucked over on the break. Which is why we struggled to make any inroads for an hour and they'd have nine yellow shirts in their own box most times. Two ping pong efforts, one a sweeping break, the other a corner not cleared and we were two down and suffered a third in the same way the Students did the other week. Scored on '89 but that was it, 1-3. Side was largely unchanged but for Alec coming in for Zy, Parker broke down just before half time and it fucking hailed four or five times and snowed once. Dave Roberts in goal for Tudno's even had trouble keeping his kicks on the island, it was not pretty.

Made all connnections back, called a bloke a cunt on my own doorstep as he decided to comment on my having an umbrella up when it wasn't raining. Braindead cunt clearly couldn't feel the rain on his head or hear or clearly bouncing off the fucking fabric. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" was what I think I said verbatim. Cunt was in the boozer and outside having a smoke. I hope he had an eye out in the hail that the rain turned into within two minutes.

This fucking leg is giving me no end of gip, consequently I am somehwat terse and monumentally fucked of with the score.

Ruthin at home next week in the cup.

called a bloke a cunt on my own doorstep as he decided to comment on my having an umbrella up when it wasn't raining. Braindead cunt clearly couldn't feel the rain on his head or hear or clearly bouncing off the fucking fabric.

How far we fell...

We did Ruthin 7-1 home and away (what a fucking double that would have been) last season but yesterday, Gibbo rested a few, moved others about, gave the 2nd keeper a go and the twins were suspended (same week.  Fucking twins...)

No Parker, we missed a pen on 25 and as soon as it cannoned off the post and safe, I thought "we go out here".  Sure enough, one down four minutes later, Hayesy broke down on 40, Parker wasn't there and when Myles copped for a second yellow in giving away a pen on 60-odd, we had no recognised centre-backs and were down to 10.  Converted the pen, scored ten later and had a pen saved for 0-4 (so a magic hat trick of pens, miss, score and save).  0-3 and we were lucky to get the 0.

Chips and curry were bang on again, another great day out marred only by the result.  Cefn Friday, would like to go but having been the last couple and the state of my joints, I have to spread myself a bit thinner.  FWIW, they were dumped out by lower-league opposition as well yesterday.  Even out of sorts, we're a better side than they are and that they are still top half is up there with unicorns and leprechauns

Chips and curry were bang on again, another great day out marred only by the result.

We lost a game to the weather last week. First time our pitch has frozen in four years.

Aber away tomorrow and Cefn rearranged on Tuesday night. Big week. Going to neither, have felt subpar for the last week or so. Fucking winter

Winter is horrific.....10 minutes of cunting grey light a day.
I have a light box.....does the job and wards of the S.A.D

I also make bone broth 3 times a week (24 hours in the slow cooker)....I'm consuming 12 pints of it a week....Helps enormously, both body and mind.

I have become a Bovril-and-soup man recently, Tone. I can't be doing with this fucking country at the best of times but that 2-degree shit where it's wet and tries to kill you can fuck off. The -9 degree crisp-as-fuck shit I can live with, it doesn't get me as much, but cold and wet is worse as it not only fucks you up, but until you can change, it tells you "hey, there's no constancy with this, you'll feel wetter and colder and we'll remind you every fucking second".

As for today, Town went to Aber and by all accounts had the better of it but were twatted 7-1, missed a pen, had one turned down at 0-0 and fielded a side with a defence that, were I to describe it in one word, would struggle to decide between "sparse" and "ravaged" - Paulo at CB with a returned Parker and Alec filling in as third choice left back. They'll have scored with every attempt.

NotBert wrote:and by all accounts had the better of it but were twatted 7-1,

Tone, it's a free-for-all at the minute. We had Hayesy and Fez/Myles last season and when Dave's ankle went, Fez and Myles kept him out the side when he was fit - the skipper, pretty much the most consistent centre back I've seen in the WPL and he couldn't get in the side.

None of the three are fit or available at the minute. I maintain Hayesy has still some way to be fully fit after the thyroid trouble (you don't get over that fully in a few weeks) and Fez is massive in the air. First two goals were direct from corners and the fourth was a breakaway. We can be and are completely undone by airball at the minute. We look great on the floor, though. It's utterly fucking bizarre.

4-0 loss at Barry.

Carlo gets a straight red, so no matter what your back four problems are, you can always get your keeper sent off besides...

Lost 0-2 to Bala on Boxing Day. Return on Monday, unlikely to get much change out of them. Cefn finally dropped back into the bootm six and the top 4 is as the top 4 would normally be. Next home game is TNS on a Saturday . Considering going, but am at the end of a few days off work then and might duck it and wait for the post-split. Fucking Friday home games.

NotBert wrote:  Cefn finally dropped back into the bootm six

Connahs Quay playing Cefn as we speak, it's 1-1 and Cefn have just missed a pen.

Bootm 6 for them if it stays like that...

We go to Bala tomorrow.  Fez is long term injured which means we've lost an entire back four this season and the deputy who moves into the slot when we're missing.  Spoke to a club legend yesterday who said on no occasion this season has Neil had the chance to field his best side.  That's fucking ridiculous after last season, and no less so for being true.

Last minute penalty, lost 0-1. Year's finally fucking over, then...

TNS at home tonight.

I have had a couple of quid's worth of us for no other reason than I got 15/1. I do not expect to see my money again.

We've brought in a forward - Oli Buckley - from Rhyl (they should set up a shuttle for the transfers that take on the four miles along the A548) which may get us using a bit of the width we should be expploring, and Jacko has left for Flint Town United, which I assume means we have ditched the long throw. Very likeable bloke, Jacko, and our decline in the first season in the Alliance after relegation started the minute he left - he was excellent coming forward (his goals were frequent and often spectacular) although he could go a shade missing at the back as a result. Would nevertheless have him in the side rather than out any day of the week. Ross Weaver has been filling in for the last couple of weeks (clearly a deal done before the window) and it would be nice if Ross could seize the chance to establish himself now he's older and wiser.

NotBert wrote:TNS at home tonight.

I have had a couple of quid's worth of us for no other reason than I got 15/1.  I do not expect to see my money again.

Fucking hell, Tone, I could never back TNS again after that last night.

They scored on 8 minutes with a hoof from goal that went straight down the middle and looked like the tactics Jack Charlton settled on when he discovered Niall Quinn.  That was pretty much it for the half.  The bloke who scored - fucking topknot, everyone's a Baggio - got into verbals with one of the Ultras and was clearly told to shut his fucking face by his skipper but it was too late - the Ultra had offered to take him on in the stand right now and was going o do him in the bar after the game.  He went off at half time, can only assume to catch a bus quick smart...  We were there to be sliced open (Ross is at CB and Zeb is at LB, which I think leaves us lacking as neither is strong/capable enough to look after the other) and they did precious little to do it.  We took it to them and had most of the ball and tbh, we should have been 1-1 at the turn.

They came out and scored a decent effort through the LB/CB slot right after HT on 47 and we fucking fell apart.  We sat off and let them have time and space on the ball.  11 v 11 and we were permanently crowded out on the ball while it looked like the UN had slapped a "no closing down" resolution on us when they had it.  Two more in the next twenty, both from "pick your spot" crosses from our left.  Parker had had midfield tied up all first half but second half, we let them play and they ended up being gifted the game.

New kid Oli Buckley came on with a couple of minutes to go and nipped inside two of three and leathered home from just outside the box.  Chips and gravy, excellent as ever, had curry when I got home to compensate. If you were to ask, I'd say Connahs Quay were a more difficult side to play against.

NotBert wrote: The bloke who scored - fucking topknot, everyone's a Baggio - got into verbals with one of the Ultras and was clearly told to shut his fucking face by his skipper but it was too late - the Ultra had offered to take him on in the stand right now and was going o do him in the bar after the game.  He went off at half time, can only assume to catch a bus quick smart

Carmarthen today, forst game post split and after going ahead, we shipped three in the last 20 and go bottom.

Gibbo has left to be Andy Morrison's no. 2 at GCQ after a glorious twelve years and Gaz Willo is now in charge. Jack Kenny had to leave the club and is looking for something closer to home because the Friday night north and south schedule and the fact he's a PE teacher in Manchester is too much. Everyone, JK included, is gutted.

Hard times.

Aber away on Friday, and given the train dynamics I had, there was every possibility Network Rail would have fucking rerouted me through there.

Willo put Zy on the bench so we were one twin on, one off (which I think is how we should be - they're too alike to field both) and Parker was in the middle od the park with Ross W alongside Hayesy, Myles and TK. The back four mightn't be ideal, but the two centres, fully fit, would look out for the flanks and vice versa. Damo and Ben were up front and Rossco made up the remaining middle slot with Louis Irvine, a window buy from Guilsfield.

Somewhere beween 4-4-2 and 4-3-3, depending on what the new kid does.

After 20 mins, Damo scores, which is great for all considered because he doesn't put many away but works for other to benefit usually. Nice to see him get one. It's going well, Aber aren't getting their way and then just before the half, Parker is injured. FFS. Zy comes on for him and we get to the turn in front.

8 minutes into the second half and Zy sees red. He's been on for fifteen minutes total. Apparently, in a moment of WPL genius, the ref turfs him for "reacting to the crowd" which is one thing, but then he tries to send off Noah. "No, you want my twin". I would expect "I'll fucking send you off as well if you start" as we appear to be working with a genius ref. I should point out that for most of the season, the twins have been easily distinguishable by the fact one of them has worn a fucking goatee and by having their fucking names on the back of their shirts. "He fucking shaved before I could get to him?" "No ref, you're a prick".

Ben moved back into midfield and Damo was left doing target duties and we nearly hung on. As it was, they got one back and we broke the run of losses, but we might just have been chinned again. Safety is still ten away, we have a game in hand, but the reason's running low and I fancy it's Alliance for us as I think Carmarthen have bought and aren't going to carry on haemorrhaging points, so even the ten gap may not be enough.

Fuck it. We go where we go, how can I be sour about a club who owe me fuck all, I'm watching football again and enjoying it? Newtown at home on Sunday, Barry the week after. Particularly big fortnight, especially given the pitch's recent waterlogging.

Love it.

One-nil loss to Newtown and Mark Aizlewood in prison.

Will catch up when I have the energy, running on "low" and tapping the gauge at the minute