Cup Final Tickets

A brace for Puskas who then promptly got scythed down and came off

Out of the Welsh Cup yesterday, had to be elsewhere so couldn't go. As it is, I feel like shit at the mo and I'll catch up in usual style when I pick up (probably tomorrow, fucked by DIY and standing in an industrial unit in Cheshire for several hours yesterday - unlinked, FWIW)

Sick and didn't want to go to Mold Alex today, although it's a short journey for me.

The gods stepped in and took the decision out of my hands by waterlogging the place. As it did the entire Alliance, tbf. Bala was underwater too. Connah's Quay meanwhile win 5-0 and go up to fifth. That early season piss poor form has cost them quite dearly IMO. They have four left until the split and it's still very tight.

Minimal update:

Car is fucked.

Lost at Cefn

Can't go tomorrow against Caernarfon.

Feel crap also.

Midseason split already ensures Bangor are in the relegation half The face on Neville fucking Powell will be a picture, in that it will be the same fixed fucking awful mug he always has.

Apparently twatted Caernarfon all over the park in the first half, led, and then were suckered by a corner that went in directly followed by a second totally against the run of play as well.

And that's how it stayed.

Bollocks.

Will catch up on this - was at the Holywell game, might write it up, included my brother being called a "plastic Scouser". He's lived in Liverpool his whole life and he's 53. Marvellous.

The arse has fallen out of the title challenge, though. I blame the stadium renaming.

A 5-5 draw at Caersws

Didn't go as preparations for my boy's birthday took precedence but conceding two to give up a winning lead would have had me kicking the shit out of something...

5-5?

Well the season's over and the leagues weren't without their shenanigans.

TNS won the league and doubled up with the Cup.  Bala finished second but because TNS did the double, the third side go directly into Europe as well.  Not content with picturesque Bala in Europe, WPL virgins Llandudno are there as well.  Conwy Council have loaned them £30k until the European money comes through in December.  A fantastic tale that you should compare with the playoffs in England that are worth literally fucking millions and yet you can still end up as Blackpool.

Tipped for "glory" at the start of the year, GCQ won the playoffs with home advantage throughout from finishing fourth and make the Europa League as well.  Rhyl will be busy, then, as I'd imagine every qualifier will want to go there.

Talking of Rhyl of course, they had a mixed bag.  They fought tooth and nail for bottom spot all season, only "losing" the wooden spoon to Haverfordwest when they won a brace late on.  Eleventh of twelve they may have ended up, and one of the wins (they beat Port Talbot 5-0 when they were down and Port Talbot guaranteed in tenth) is being investigated for match-fixing, but (and here's the wrinkle) they stay up.  Unbelievably, Port Talbot failed to get a licence for next season and failed at appeal.  After the crash and rebuild of Afan Lido, this means Port Talbot has no club in the WPL and what with the steelworks as well, they are effectively the anti-Leicester.

How did the licence affect it?  Well, Port Talbot without a licence go down first.  There was an all-but guaranteed LoW (now termed the WFL) side to go up as Barry Town were top and had a licence with their fixtures completed on 58 points.  Technically, if the two Goytre sides (AFC and United) won the ten games they had left between them (one six, one four, all exclusive) and Cardiff Met, who got a licence too, shit it completely and picked up fewer than three points from the last four games, the two Goytres would make 58 as well and it would go on goal difference, Barry could finish third and Cardiff Met fourth and no-one goes up.

Yeah, Cardiff Met pissed up, Barry stayed second.  A consolation of sorts as CMet got mugged on the line by Haverfordwest last season having completed their fixtures but the last hangover game of the entire league from February for Haverfordwest, the "need a five goal turnaround last game of the season", ended up 5-0...

Haverfordwest, meanwhile, as bottom, could get a stay of execution if no-one from the Alliance with a licence made the top two.  When licensing came around, only Cefn and Flint Town Utd got one and FTU were way out of it.  Caernarfon all but has the title stitched up but were refused a licence and failed at appeal, remarkably because the admin shows they technically do not exist... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-36119946 for the skinny on it.  They were clearly a bit fucked off as they openly published the letter and they took it out on the pitch, winning their last four league games 6-1, 3-0, 7-0 and 8-3.  More on that in a sec.

That left Cefn, therefore.  Denbigh were second but with fixtures completed.  Cefn were 9 points off second, could still nick the title but three wins from the last five and with goal difference on their side, nine would do.  They won the first, won the second and so three points from three games and they were paying Caernarfon at home - they could still nick the top spot with a win and some opportune results in Caernarfon's last two games...

That's the 7-0 game above.  From being able to win and all but secure promotion, Cefn went to shitting up their GD and needing four points from two games to go up.  They scraped a 2-1 win at Porthmadog and so were a goal shy of Denbigh and needed a point, last game of the season at... Rhayader, the rock bottom of the league.  No mystery, they won 4-0 and are back up but they tried their level best to get fucked.

Haverfordwest, on going down, have said they will not be coming back up with the league in its current format (they want a sixteen-team set-up as in the feeders).  I hope Barry, on the comeback trail, shit down their necks home and away next season.

Prestatyn's season had two runs of firstly, invincibility and secondly, bending over, and finished in the middle. The car has done something similar...

Bangor finished ninth and as such, while the playoffs were settling themselves, they were the only side in the WPL who weren't involved in anything on or off the park.  Good, Neville Powell is a miserable cunt.

Excellent write up Bert.

Oh my fucking stars, where to begin?

Rhyl's 5-0 win against Port Talbot last season has resulted in eleven arrests regarding the match fixing - 8 from Swansea (English cunts), one from Neath and two from Port Talbot itself.  Rhyl meanwhile changed manager and the new boss got out a fucking big brush.  Five (yes, five) survived the cull, including turncoat Rob Hughes.  One of the twins (Zyaac) has gone to Rhyl, as has Alex Jones, which is a bit of a blow but more on that in a mo.

Bangor also reviewed their position and sacked Neville Powell as well.  The rest of the WPL looked at his loyalty and record and declared his dismissal "hilarious".

The WPL started and there has been an inordinate rash of clean sheets in the first 20 games as of this evening - no less than 5 nil-nil draws (which tend to totter around the 20/1 mark, of course) and 5 games resolved by a single goal.  Only two games have managed BTTS which is fucking astounding given the nature of the league as a goalfest.  After three or four games (this round is completed tomorrow with four games), all have points on the board, there are two sides still yet to score, one in the top half with one goal in four games, two have two, two have three, four have four and the remaining side, three games in, are TNS with 17.

Yes, 17.  They scored more than any other side in all games so far when winning 5-0 AT Llandudno and then outdid themselves by managing the same five in each half against Rhyl.  It's the first tenfold in fifteen years, and the only one since the league became an "elite" 12 rather than a "long tail" 16 or 18.  Connahs Quay have started how they didn't last year, three clean sheets and two wins to be on the heels on TNS only with a thirteen goal inferior goal difference should they make up the two points...

You all want to know what's happening with Prestatyn.  Well, seasonal debut for me is likely to be Saturday at Halkyn Road, Holywell.  We now have a car again, the warrior of previous seasons now having shuffled off this mortal coil after a lifetime of tremendous service, and will be joining the season slightly late to the parade.  What parade?  Well, the first four games were two Friday night home games, a trip to champions Caernarfon and a Tuesday night game that finished about three and a bit hours ago.  None of which are conducive to me getting there.  There's been a bit of a shuffle around - Alex Jones has gone but Damien Ketley has come in.  Jacko's back from Oz and the kids are a year bigger and, well...

Day 1 - Ruthin Town (newly promoted) were beaten 7-1.  That is a seven.  Young Jordan Davies has clearly filled out a bit more again as he started the season with a hat-trick.  All the more surprising because after a half hour, 3-0 up, Michael Parker took a straight red.
Day 2 - Conwy Borough (mid-table testing side) were beaten 6-1.  That is a six.  Young Jordan Davies has clearly filled out a bit more again as he started the season with two hat-tricks.
Day 3 - Caernarfon Town (champions, away) were beaten 1-4.  That's what should be the hardest game of the season and it was over by halfway at 0-3.  Young Jordan Davies got his seventh of the season.  The side looked a tad depleted as well, Gibbo had to name himself on the bench and even after that, Damien Ketley injured himself in the warm up and had to be replaced.  Seems this side has got chops...
Day 4 - Buckley Town (mid-table, another awkward squad) were beaten 4-0.  Three up again at half time, Jordan on to nine for the season and 21 goals in four games from all over the park makes TNS look lightweight

With a due fucking sense of foreboding, I'll be there Saturday.  I hope I'm not the fucking Jonah, I really don't...

I wonder if TNS will win tonight?

They did, Tone, but they made hardish work of it - 2-1 at Cardiff Met who racked up their first goal of the season.

Connahs Quay drew again, W2, D2 and still haven't conceded a goal, which in Welsh games only means they haven't conceded a goal in nearly 10 hours.

Worst fucking Saturday's weather in months, went to Holywell, swearing all the way as every cunt in the country who can't drive decided to go A41/A55 on Saturday afternoon, including, but not limited to
(i) some fucking cunt around Eastham who decided at the lights that despite being in the left lane, would straddle both left and right as he was clearly incapable of following the gentle right-handed curve.  He refused to look at me when he realised he was trying to run me into the oncoming traffic which was quite wise since, as Joe Jackson said, "If looks could kill, there's a man marked down as dead".
(ii) some fucking cunt who was giving up the overtaking lane on the A55 to no-one at 50 (NSL, multiple lanes).  Someone undertook him and clearly woke him up.  Moved across to the inside and then stepped up to 70, the cock.  Went past him anyway because he was clearly a fucking liability and I had no intention of dying at the hands of a daydreaming nobjockey
(iii) some fucking cunt on a motorbike who did exactly the same as (ii) except of course, if you're on a bike in the pissing rain, you could do with not driving in a fashion that is likely to kill you.
(iv) a pair of fucking cunts who decided to join the A55 in convoy doing 50 and then cross both fucking lanes to get into a tiny fucking space that wasn't there in front of me doing 70 and overtaking the stream of traffic they'd just wandered across.  Everyone else in the car was asleep just then; the fucking roar out of me put paid to that.
and later
(v) some fucking idiot in a side street in the town centre who, as I turned in from the A road, was turned 90 degrees, fully across the street.  It was impossible to work out how he'd done it but I'd be fucked if I wanted to find out.

Needless to say, we missed the off.

I also paid for the cheapest parking I have ever had in my life without paying fuck all or when using my cripple badge before I was cured (fucking Liverpool Council).  For two hours, I paid 20p.  I was stood there thinking "the fucking ticket probably cost more than that to print".  Way existential.

Anyhow, the game.  Mood lightened by actually getting to see the side in action at a ground I've had an itch to visit for a couple of years, Town have a changed look about them.  No Hayesy and Parker on the bench meant the side we were looking at was one of exception; guessing this had happened maybe twice, three times in the last eight seasons.  Nevertheless, they pressed hard, the forwards harrying everything and lot letting Holywell settle.  Town were having the best of it so naturally, in minute 45, a loose ball comes out towards the edge of the box and Jacko and the Wellman went for it and both missed it.  Ref gives the penalty  Puts it firm and low to the keeper's left, keeper gets to it and tips it on to the post and out for a corner - a fucking great save and which had the response from the visiting faithful of "never a fucking penalty anyway".

Tea bar was OK without being exceptional, clubhouse is tidy given the tier we're in, crowd is an amiable one and the game is competitive without some homicidal cunt fighting with the crowd, the opposition, the team mates and himself.  My brother for once had no-one to fight with, which is just as well as Andy Nicholls - once banned from every ground in England and Wales - was in the crowd.  In Wales.  This is he https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Nicholls.  Decent ground and setting, though, will return.

Seasiders had been the better side in the first half and the second was no different although the game was thin on chances.  At about the hour mark, there was another bit of a scrabble in the box and enough of a whiff of shoving and grabbing to merit a penalty for us this time.  Possibly a bit harsh, a coin flip, but at least it was in the realms of penaltihood unlike the first half shambles.  Jordan, on nine for the season, made it ten.

And that's how it stayed, never really in danger, the back four without Hayesy performed admirably, Tom Kemp in particular.  P5 W5, the drive home had less cunts on it bar one cock on the M56 who I passed doing 85 just to get him away from me and a couple of cars who decided that racing at 120mph would be quite funny.  They were ultimately stopped by the cock mentioned above.

The anger you all thought was down to a loss I was about to report (admit it...) is in fact to my not being 100%.  Functional but not fantastic and it's pissing me off...

FWIW, Mold Alex played Flint Town Utd on Saturday and it ended up 0-12, having already conceded a 6 and a 7.  Llanfair at home next week (shock 1-4 reverse last year which should have been 6-5 tbh) but I'll be in Blackpool at a swimming gala, then Mold Alex away on Wednesday week...

Excellent stuff Bert

The Llanfair ghost was laid today - the double they did over us last year did a lot to keep them up (if you remember, I went there to the Welsh Cup tie where we were on the grouund before we'd got out of the car) but they were seen off today albeit it without knocking seven shades of shit out of them.

2-1 win, Jacko's back and Ben Maher, full back turned midfield to decent effect this season with the second.

My daughter won her individual 25m swim today by six seconds - a fifth of the pool - and would have beaten the boys as well Dinner from the Granada in Fleetwood, tidy, really meaty piece of haddock.

SIX SECONDS??

Single length short track 25m breaststroke 9s and under, she won in 23 secs and bits. None of the boys broke 24. It was a promotion test match as well. She doesn't get that from me...

I'll be brief. A 2-5 win at Caersws today keeps Town clear at the top. Eight rounds in, they have won 7 and only failed to win at Mold Alex because they haven't got an electrician in the team and so the lines, when they went out the second time, stayed out. Town were 4-1 to the good at the time (50 mins)...

Other than Mold paying their electricity bill and Bangor being shit at penalties, it's hard to envisage a better start

The run stopped on Saturday and needless to say, it was our home debut for the season.

1-1 v Porthmadog.  They were third going into the game and could have gone top had they won by seven (that game in hand for us is there still, mind) and Caernarfon not won (and they didn't).  They came to draw, though, set their stall out accordingly and Town were without Hayesy, using Michael Parker at centre back and as there was no Shacks in the middle of the park, there was no real water carrier in the middle.  Steady had a cracking game, looks fearful every time he has a place kick (hit the post with a free kick right on the half, put the free kick Parker headed in on a sixpence - just like old times - and a couple of others that should have been converted).

They scored a bit of a freak totally against the run of play and Town went straight down the other end and righted it.  One bloke in the middle for Porthmadog was impossible to pass.  I'll grant he was a fair player, nice touches but no worldbeater; it's just that he was the width of the fucking pitch, the fucking fat cunt, and to get round him you had to put it over him and run off the park and around.

No curry.  The tea bar team were under strength this week, but I'd actually eaten before going (not my idea, I was fed) so I passed.

In the WPL, TNS went to 9 from 9 and Connahs Quay are 5-4-0 in second.  It's bizarre otherwise - Cardiff Met are fifth having scored six in nine (Llandudno are sixth having scored only 4 and of the eight they've conceded, five were to TNS) while Newtown are bottom having scored 12 in 9 - more than the two combined.  Everyone bar the top 3 has a negative goal difference and Newtown, despite being bottom, could very well win on Saturday and be sixth.

Town meanwhile are still top, 2 clear with a game in hand and goal difference onside.

Love the Welsh football updates Bert.

This week was a Welsh Cup week and the winners of 2013 had to play a first round tie because of the finishing position last season ("anywhere in the fucking Alliance") - the big heads don't come in until the third round and the lower reaches fight out among themselves for ultimately half the places in the third round. Both second tiers come in at R1 Proper and occasionally, like Tiger Bay did in 2015, clubs from tier 7 (qualification: do you have a ball?) can start in August but forge a way through the regionally-based rounds until the third round if the draw is kind (they ducked all the second tier stuff, drew 5, 6, 5 and 7 but still had to beat 'em and on their own midden on occasion).

Town drew St Asaph away. Mindful that since they won it, they went to 2nd tier Caersws as holders, ended up with 8 men and a 4-2 early departure, then the year after went to second tier Cardiff Met, were locked out of the dressing rooms at half time so had to stay on the pitch and lost 4-1 and last year, finally won one at Llanfair but ducked out to GCQ in the third round; it's been a bit of a banana skin. Couldn't go which pissed me off somewhat and was even more miffed when they won 8-0 - I may just be that fucking Jonah. Jack Kenny got half of them and Hayesy got one which annoyed my boy as he has still to see him score but he likes to when we're not there.

The WPL continues to confound. More later.

"they went to 2nd tier Caersws as holders, ended up with 8 men"

Both centre halves and the centre forward, IIRC, Tone. Like going out all togged up, a bear clawing you from tieknot to nadsack and you being there, all dressed on the sides and cock out and bleeding down the middle.