i SHALL, DEFINITELY, get around to it sometime. maybe. **just another vent.of sorts.**

y'know?
i lied in bed earlier,thinking,so much,about,,,,,,,things.

this is the thing you see,
i need to say sooooo much,
but put me in front of a doctor,
and there's nothing there,
i just dry up.

my situation;
MY,
aching legs,screaming for the pain to stop.
supposed,and much vaunted depression,or not.
feelings of hopelessness,fatigue,and exhaustion.
i need to talk to somebody,a doctor perhaps,somebody who will be remotely interested,and genuinely wanting to point me in some direction,GIVE direction.

THAT'S IT.

I'M JUST LOST.

MAYBE.

i need to make an appointment for my half-yearly dental check-up.
i'll do it sometime.

the boiler has got to be serviced.

boiler insurance to be renewed soon.

there WAS something else.

i WILL get around to it,
sometime.

sorry for this,
we have been here before.
same old'same old.

but it weighing heavy right now.

maybe boat should put a lock on this,or whatever you do to stop people from posting replies.

cos we're ALL gonna just keeping repeating what has already been said.

it's all just old,old,ground.

once more i apologise for this rant/whinge/self-pity trip,call it what you will.

i'm off to get a coffee.

JUST DO IT!

i`m back on the meds again and feeling a million times better than i was 2 weeks ago

she,
i can just see my doctor.

thinking,,,,,,

well,,,
okay,,,
but there's nothing wrong with you.

erixter wrote:she,
i can just see my doctor.

thinking,,,,,,

well,,,
okay,,,
but there's nothing wrong with you.

i wouldnt be on meds if there was nothing wrong with me

this is the thing you see,
i need to say sooooo much,
but put me in front of a doctor,
and there's nothing there,
i just dry up

why don't you give us a full list of your physical ailments and a brief summary of the psychological stuff - why you're bored, depressed, pissed off, whatever

we could summarise on half a sheet of A4 for you to print and take to the dr's, say nothing, just give it to him - we could even email the fecker to him

suffering in silence isn't big or clever, you only live once, sometimes it can be quite enjoyable but it's mostly what you make it

you could write it dwn yourself and if you didn't want to hand it to them, email it

you may actually enjoy the almost nailed on prescribed drugs and/or therapy

Abdul Kowalski wrote:

this is the thing you see,
i need to say sooooo much,
but put me in front of a doctor,
and there's nothing there,
i just dry up

why don't you give us a full list of your physical ailments and a brief summary of the psychological stuff - why you're bored, depressed, pissed off, whatever

we could summarise on half a sheet of A4 for you to print and take to the dr's, say nothing, just give it to him - we could even email the fecker to him

suffering in silence isn't big or clever, you only live once, sometimes it can be quite enjoyable but it's mostly what you make it

you could write it dwn yourself and if you didn't want to hand it to them, email it

you may actually enjoy the almost nailed on prescribed drugs and/or therapy

yep, totally agree!

thats what i did, wrote a list of everything wrong...gave him it and let him ask the questions

she wrote:

erixter wrote:she,
i can just see my doctor.

thinking,,,,,,

well,,,
okay,,,
but there's nothing wrong with you.

i wouldnt be on meds if there was nothing wrong with me

FFS she,
arghhhhhhh

i was talking about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

just make a friggin list of everything wrong with you...give him the friggin list and he will ask the questions ffs!

anyway siobhan wants her laptop now so im gonna sprawl on the trampoline and sunbathe for a bit

LOOOOOOOK,

aghhhhh!

you sit in front of a doctor,
he's sitting there fiddling with his computer.
mario brothers probably,
you tell him that you're not sleeping good,
that you're feeling totally fucked,
mentally,and physically.
legs hurting like the merry fuck.

and he says.
"but there's nothing wrong with you".


been there,
done that.

and as for being big.

i'd welcome being carted off right now.
just to escape this fuckin place.


if i ever hear of somebody who's so much as remotely interested,
i'll make an appointment.

REALLY.

I MEAN IT.


there's just noboy to talk to.

it has to start with the doctor.

and so,

it's a NON-starter.

best leave it there eh?
i know you mean well.

and i have no right spewing all my shit out on here.
but i got no place else to go.

change fucking doctors!

anyway im off!

she wrote:just make a friggin list of everything wrong with you...give him the friggin list and he will ask the questions ffs!

they just don't have the time.

blood-tests,
a broken toe maybe.
they're able to cope with.
they just don't know what to do with twats like me.

and then there's expense of it all.


and being fobbed off is so not nice.

i could just blow a fuse.

and how stupid,and futile,would that be?

give me a day or two,
it'll pass.

she wrote:change fucking doctors!

she,
i got no faith in them.

maybe i should live in another town.
but THAT aint gonna happen either.
and who's to say that it would make any difference?

i just looked ABKO,
there's an online doctor tab,
ask a question,
and get an answer now.
i didn't know what to say,
how to put it,
where to start.

this is the thing you see.
how do you put the last 40 odd years into a couple of sentences?

you don't

you just tell him what physical ailment you have now - "my legs hurt like fuck" for example, they look at that, ask more questions like "any other problems" etc and take it from there, "how you feeling" "right fucking depressed" etc

you can only deal with the here and now and affect what the future may bring, there is fuck all you can do about the past

i remember now.

gotta make an appointment at the doctor's.
i think my ears need cleaning out again.

i'm saying "what?,,,,,,,,,,,,,eh?" to people.
and if/when i put the telly on,
the volume goes up a notch.
not massive.
but it's noticeable.

a job for the nurse.
might not have to trouble the doctor with it.
will ask at reception.

erixter wrote:i remember now.

gotta make an appointment at the doctor's.
i think my ears need cleaning out again.

i'm saying "what?,,,,,,,,,,,,,eh?" to people.
and if/when i put the telly on,
the volume goes up a notch.
not massive.
but it's noticeable.

a job for the nurse.
might not have to trouble the doctor with it.
will ask at reception.

yeah,
i know.
we'll see.