almost 59,and living in a state of confusion.

i got up off the kitchen floor at 6.30. this morning,
and got into a warm bed intending to have a few hours kip.
well,suffice to say that it didn't happen.
so,
i lie there,
thinking about stuff.
contradiction.
i think about sex.
i fancy it.
NO I DON'T.
i wish i had some one to talk to.
NO I DON'T.
i hate work.
if i was financally secure,
and didn't work,
i'd go fuckin mad.
as for drink,
i think i'd probably get sick of it.
when i have a week off,
it takes me about 4 days to tire of it.

so;
what do i hope for?
how would i like to see my future panning out?
what do i really'really want?

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.

and it's driving me crazy.

right now,
this god awful situation at home,
i just don't care.
it doesn't matter.
i eat.
have somewhere to sleep.
and that'll do.

sex/company/conversation,
i should be desiring these things.
but i don't.
i wish i did.
but i don't.

i'm a fuckin android.

yes,
i have much to be thankful for.
i suppose.
but it's only human to want.
isn't it?

and i'm tired,
so damned tired.

well,
it's monday again.

hello monday.

all aboard the skylark.

Eric...it's the same for all of us mate.
We all have our fucking cross to bear.

it's a fucker ain' it.

life,
it's just too much effort.
i can't do with the worry of it all.
there's so much uncertainty.
too much.

it takes money.
loadsa money.
too get off in this world.
just to turns one's back on the whole caboodle.
i wish.

what do i want?
i mean really'really want?

to want.


maybe i'm just so well off.
and i don't know it.

so why can't i be happy?
take life for what is.
get things going with stickie.
give her a good hard rogering up the shitter,
and move on?

erixter wrote:give her a good hard rogering up the shitter,
and move on?

i'd love to be on speaking terms with her.

NO I WOULDN'T.

maybe i wouldn't like her.
she might not like me.

and yes,
it matters.

Nobby Cheese wrote:

erixter wrote:give her a good hard rogering up the shitter,
and move on?

and what right do i have to invade her world?

erixter wrote:what do i want?
i mean really'really want?

to want.


maybe i'm just so well off.
and i don't know it.

eureka!

maybe that's it.

what a wanker.

shouldn't i be glad not to be wanting?

apart from winning the lottery of course.