the new age of snooker pt I

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:15 am

this weekend, barry hearn will be starting his mission to fuck snooker right up with the sky sports one frame shoot out comp, held over the weekend with the top 64 players in random draws, each match being a single timed frame, players having to play all shots within 20 seconds and no frame to take more than 12 mins.

the crowd will be encouraged to get well pissed beforehand on cheap booze, scream the players into the arena doing silly walkons like darts and as it's speedball pub style snooker, the crowd will be encouraged to wave silly banners in the air and shout as much as they want while the frame is being played.

the only good thing about this is that it won't suit that boring cheating cunt ebdon, the cunt.

by 2012 barry should have integrated the world darts, pool and snooker comps into one mad drunken weekend olympics of pub games and it will be held in a big pub somewhere in the midlands with free drugs being provided with the cheap booze and the final will involve a fight in the car park - r.i.p. snooker Neutral

bitofatwat Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:44 am

Abdul Kowalski wrote:this weekend, barry hearn will be starting his mission to fuck snooker right up with the sky sports one frame shoot out comp, held over the weekend with the top 64 players in random draws, each match being a single timed frame, players having to play all shots within 20 seconds and no frame to take more than 12 mins.

the crowd will be encouraged to get well pissed beforehand on cheap booze, scream the players into the arena doing silly walkons like darts and as it's speedball pub style snooker, the crowd will be encouraged to wave silly banners in the air and shout as much as they want while the frame is being played.

the only good thing about this is that it won't suit that boring cheating cunt ebdon, the cunt.

by 2012 barry should have integrated the world darts, pool and snooker comps into one mad drunken weekend olympics of pub games and it will be held in a big pub somewhere in the midlands with free drugs being provided with the cheap booze and the final will involve a fight in the car park - r.i.p. snooker

Will billiards ever make a comeback or doesnt it appeal to young players Abdul?

Bloke called Joe who's in our bowing team still plays it down at the village club, he says its a better game all together.

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:55 am

Didn't billiards fall by the wayside because the top players found a way of tip tapping the balls in the corner for 7 hours at a time until everyone died of boredom?

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:59 am

it's by far a better game than snooker as it is infinitessimal in what you can do in it, i doubt it will ever appeal to younger people as it isn't fashionable and when i started playing it at 32 i was looked on as a freak by everyone who played it or didn't

you can win a game of pool in 8 shots or less and a game of snooker in 19 shots and i've done both but my best break at billiards is 76 and i was still a rank beginner when i stopped, there is no end to a break of billiards, only what score limit you set on a match, you could play a break forever with the 3 balls if you were good enough and walter lindrum had the ability to do that, nearly

it's like chess to draughts or bridge to snap, it is much more a mental intelligence game

my billiards cue was made in 1890 to commemorate w j peall making a world record break and i've got some old books from 1900-ish which i bought for coaching, i really should start paying again, it's just the local hall shut and it's difficult finding practice partners

i hope it don't get popular as if it did barry hearn would fuck it up

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:00 am

Answer my question

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:08 am

Nobby Cheese wrote:Didn't billiards fall by the wayside because the top players found a way of tip tapping the balls in the corner for 7 hours at a time until everyone died of boredom?

no, they just changed the rules when that happened to outlaw the shot, it was called the 'cradle cannon' and when someone discovered the shot the pros realised they could exploit it, when one bloke scored a half million point break over six weeks the shot was banned http://www.eaba.co.uk/articles/tomReeceRecord/cradleCannonRecord.html

billiards was really popular around the war and after with walter lindrum but once snooker became more popular that was what killed off billiards

people grew up playing pool and snooker and if they're any good they want to play in teams or comps for money, billiards is not a team game or a money game, it is a enjoyment game and you need to be a good cue person to play it and have a mind to understand it

i have a long weekend coming up, i may dust my cues off

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:16 am

Abdul Kowalski wrote:when one bloke scored a half million point break over six weeks the shot was banned

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:22 am

seriously, after a week the crowd was let in for free and his opponent just stood next to the ref for five weeks solid, he was scoring about 10,000 points a day in an eight hour day and was supposed to have pointed at his opponent and said to the crowd "did he buy a ticket, he is just spectating you know"

that's why the rules were changed, last time i played it was 15 consecutive hazards max then a cannon or 75 consecutive cannons then a hazard, as a snooker player i had no problem getting to the 15 hazards as potting the red off the black and blue spot is a piece of piss but i never got near 75 cannons

bitofatwat Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:27 am

Nobby Cheese wrote:
Abdul Kowalski wrote:when one bloke scored a half million point break over six weeks the shot was banned

bitofatwat Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:29 am

Abdul Kowalski wrote:seriously, after a week the crowd was let in for free and his opponent just stood next to the ref for five weeks solid, he was scoring about 10,000 points a day in an eight hour day and was supposed to have pointed at his opponent and said to the crowd "did he buy a ticket, he is just spectating you know"

that's why the rules were changed, last time i played it was 15 consecutive hazards max then a cannon or 75 consecutive cannons then a hazard, as a snooker player i had no problem getting to the 15 hazards as potting the red off the black and blue spot is a piece of piss but i never got near 75 cannons

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:42 am

and his opponent just stood next to the ref for five weeks solid

affraid

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:42 am

this is a genuine pic taken during his six week half million point break and shows tom reece playing thecradle cannon while his opponent joe chapman stands next to the ref, where he stood for 5 weeks, though tom apparently took a monday off for a personal engagement and resumed on tuesday

the new age of snooker pt I ReeceChapmanJordan

the new age of snooker pt I ReeceChapmanJordan

aparently after a couple of weeks the ref pulled up a chair and sat next to the pocket rather than stand up

let's see barry hearn jizz that up!

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:46 am

bitofatwat Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:49 am

Absolute quality Abdul, i dont think it would appeal to an armchair spectator like my mother or get jonesy sexed up when she's watching Ronnie O Laughing

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:59 am

when i played the only competition localy was leagues and only the old boys played billiards and they couldn't pot for shit but their cannons and in-offs were good but they didn't like some young fucker coming in and potting like a whirlwind - even though you were limited to 15 consecuive pots before you had to make a cannon they still thought i was 'unsporting' Very Happy

we used to play first to 150, not half a million and it generally took 30-45 mins depending on the speed of the game and the old duffer playing it - my best was a 76 and a 60-odd next visit and i won the game in a few visits leaving the poor old cunt embarrassed on 20-something - i won the billiards ko comp that year Smile

Guest Mon Jan 24, 2011 9:52 pm

Nobby Cheese wrote:Didn't billiards fall by the wayside because the top players found a way of tip tapping the balls in the corner for 7 hours at a time until everyone died of boredom?

Cradle cannons, yes.

They did run a one frame knockout way back in the 80s, IIRC. Obviously didn't catch on when it was won by some unknown shmoe

Guest Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:17 pm

Guest Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:17 pm

Clare's still there, Tony. Not sure if they're Clare, Padmore and Thurston now, though.

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:59 pm

what a load of old cock Neutral

even got a fucking robot voiceover, music walkon, pissed crowd with some divs and oldies who didn't know thinking "wtf?!"

all wearing t-shirts including the obligatory woman ref (no andy gray analysis tho Wink

)

i guess bazza told the top 64 "you must all join n these wank ideas i have and you'll get paid fuck all for them but i will treble the prize money in the proper comps within a year or two"

just notice the t-shirts have fucking numbers on, in case the spaz crowd don't recognise 'em

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:04 pm

fucking hell, the computerised robot voice just said "dale, you are through to to the next round, ding, you are out"

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:08 pm

oh god, it's jimmy 'five bellies' white and he's just been announced as the world champion and people's champion Question

champion at what, eating pies and doing full banks?

ffs

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:30 pm

Abdul Kowalski wrote:

champion at what, eating pies and doing full banks?

ffs

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:48 pm

go on ronny, get knocked out first round, the £500 prize money won't even cover your charlie money tonight Twisted Evil

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:50 pm

ronnie is the 16/1 favourite affraid

Guest Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:59 pm

ronnie gets a ton and doesn't realise he's won, he must be cunted already and then standing in front of some kids when told there's no max break prize he says "oh shit" and presenter apologises

now it's the nugget against cheaty slaphead cunt ebdon - it will take them the ten minutes just to shake hands and get ready to take their first shot Neutral

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