the new age of snooker pt I

perry says it's down to his new cue made by the pro's cue maker john parris - i had one made by him about 15 years ago and it cost me £360 and was a piece of shit, i gave it to my b-in-law

barry must have told them he won't pay 'em unless they all say in the interviews that blackpool is great and the crowd are brilliant - blackpool is a shithole and the crowd are mongs, it appears the price of honesty for a snooker player is £500 quid these days

trump vs harold next or 26 v 46 and milf-ref has done the womanly thing and put the green on the brown spot - where's andy gray when you need him

dotty vs couch next, 11 vs 58

this game won't suit dotty, he may be an ex-wrold champ but he'll get depressed as soon as the crowd make a noise about him playing slowly and will run to the doctors to get some prozac and a sick note

lolz, psychic abdul scores again and dotty is out the traps like a greyhound on speed, builds up a nice lead from which nobody is coming back from in these shootout frames and then couch fouls giving dotty ball in hand, game over

he's still too frail for this sort of game though, particularly when it gets noisy and messy - non contender imo

cope against doherty next (14 v 30) doherty just pleased to be on telly again, the smug cunt

milf-ref replaced by grandad ref

come on cope, do the smug scar-faced stick insect cunt

Abdul Kowalski wrote:dotty vs couch next, 11 vs 58

this game won't suit dotty, he may be an ex-wrold champ but he'll get depressed as soon as the crowd make a noise about him playing slowly and will run to the doctors to get some prozac and a sick note

Abdul Kowalski wrote:jimmy is cunted and talking total bollocks, if they drag him out for the evening session he'll be vomiting all over the place and pissing himself

missed the end of the doherty game due to lack of interest and chees sarnis and horse racing, no idea who won, don't give a fuck

gunnell (no. 48 and waddles like a duck, he ate all the pies and wanted seconds, the fat cunt) against morris (no. 55 and looks like he would be dropped off by the special bus) next

even barry can't sex this up, no wonder these cunts are on in the afternoon, save the interesting games for the evening pissed up mob

28 v 53 next

red dwarf robot voice announces "20 second shot clock in operation, let the shootout begin"

silence....fuck me, i've heard noisier funerals

pettman (england # 45) vs Haneveer (belgium # 56)

can the ginger northerner do the cueist from the land of chocolates and paedophiles...

does anybody really care

ginger wins

mark davis (18) against swail (43), davis does the paddy and looks a contender

contenders now: O'Sullivan, Robertson, King, M Davis, Burden

hicks (50) vs selby (9) next, when i saw hicks in a snooker hall he complained about the noise coming from our drunken killer table, he's got no fucking chance in this format

Good stuff, Abdul. Apparently dubious betting patterns already noted last night on the late frame you highlighted...

selby beats hicks, nobody cared

shit loads of adverts between these single frames, some cunt is making money out of this and it aint the players, no doubt bazza will turn up tomorrow night for the final frames and flash his cheesy grin about saying how "it's the future for snooker"

1.01 he's thinking how he can get wheechairs and premium rate public phone in eliminations involved

the organisers have pulled a master stroke and even though jimmy 'fivebellies' white got stuffed yesterday he will still play a part in the second round - he'll draw the fixtures out a bag during this evening's sesh

hamilton 'the sherrif of pottingham' (number 41) vs McGill (number 61, some ginger 12yo kid) - looks like they scheduled this game as mcgill has to be in bed by this evening's kick-off time

ginger kid pots nine balls and is out but still gets £500, think how many sweets the little duracell can buy with that

24 v 25 to close the pm sesh off, the equivalent of the fat kids rounding off a got to dance episode

poor stuff, interesting to see how they might try to liven things up for later, drugs would be a good starter

Abdul Kowalski wrote:when i saw hicks in a snooker hall he complained about the noise coming from our drunken killer table, he's got no fucking chance in this format

and here we go again, the second round of 16 games all to be played tonight

highlight matches are rory 'blackbeard' mcleod vs tony 'the cannibal' drago and mark 'staggy' king against the legend steve 'ginger nugget' davis

should be fast and furious, 16 games taking no more than 10mins per game, lots of adverts and bollocks talk from the commos

kind of like come dancing with spazzers in turbocharged wheelchairs

thanks for this bazza

Abdul's five to follow jinx to fuckery are: O'Sullivan, Robertson, King, M Davis, Burden

Abdul Kowalski wrote:

kind of like come dancing with spazzers in turbocharged wheelchairs

19 v 36

and here we go, nigel 'rodney' bond vs stephen 'pie eater' lee to kick things off

the crowd seem right lagged up for this, piss taking before the night's first ball is hit

Out of interest, I have had some pennies on Burden, Abdul, on your say-so.

Merely interest, but 40/1 in what is a toss-up, fuck it. Have backed John Daly EW in the US as well because he's in spitting distance of the lead, has won there before and is also 40s.

Keeps me playing, I suppose

Out of interest, I have had some pennies on Burden, Abdul, on your say-so.

we've just double-doomed the poor cunt now

looks like the bloke from the safe-style ad with the gloves, presumably milf-ref is getting ready for her stint over the table

'rodney' has pissed the first game with a 91 break

Literally pennies, Abdul. It's like greyhounds on whizz after all - you lose your money ultra quick

Daly's picked up a shot in the States, meanwhile...

18 vs 26

and it's one of Abdul's five to follow contenders up next Mark Davis vs Judd Trump

Abdul Kowalski wrote:18 vs 26

and it's one of Abdul's five to follow contenders up next Mark Davis vs Judd Trump

and it's four to follow now as Davis loses to Trump 31-30